Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[JT]

When my kids were young I was offered respite a couple of times so that I could get a proper break but the anxiety was just too much - mine, not theirs.  Now that I look back on those times I seriously believe I should have taken it!  

[coffeegirl]

For me I know I need to reconnect with myself when someone asks me "What have you been up to?" and the answer doesn't actually contain anything about me... but more about everyone else in my house 🙂

[coffeegirl]

JT - have you taken any respite since then?

I've always wondered what "respite" actually involves - I guess is differs from organisation to organisation?

[JT]

I've never taken any formal 'respite' from any organisation to be honest.  It's different depending on the organisation and what they have going.  I know people who've been given a carer for a weekend while they go to a hotel, or just for a day.  I took on a job that involved travel - so my respite was work trips lol but I enjoyed them because at least I was away from home.  And it was all done when my kids were old enough to look after each other with people just checking up on them.

[kenny66]

I spend time looking after orphaned animals

Volunteer at abused kids home

Read to blind people

This makes me realise I have a soul and are worth something. It makes me realise how lucky I am an lets me know I am a good person with deep emotions

[NikNik]

Hi everyone,

10 mins until we wrap up this Topic Tuesday!

So to finish up - What is one thing you're going to do for yourself this week to reconnect with yourself?

[JT]

Well I'm at the TheMHS conference so I am going to connect with some relaxing nights with a tv remote and no housework!!!

[NikNik]

Wow @kenny - that is very generous & compassionate of you.

[-karma-]

I like this, taking my eyes off myself, perspective

[Snoo]

Rather than finding that I need to reconnect, I find trying to stay connected pretty vital too.  Of course, there have been times where I've felt I've lost myself and needed to reconnect (that's natural as a carer) but I try use these as lessons to learn about what I could do differently. Anyway... things I do to stay connected are:

1.) Know my boundaries. Be honest with myself about what I can and can't do for the person I care about. I tend to reflect a lot about what I am really capable of. Sometimes accepting this is hard because I feel like I should be doing more, but the more honest I am, the easier it is for the both us. 

2.) Communicate. Talk about boundaries the above, talk about how you're feeling, and what's on your mind. I find it helps to work through issues and it lightens the load

3.) Doing things I enjoy. I make time for activities that I did before I was a carer. It helps me realise that was and still is a me that is not just a carer.