struggling my BPD

[Ferret3123]

everything around me seems to be failing, falling apart and i dont know how to make things better. i dont know whats happen but i feel like quitting everything including univeristy because i feel like im failing it even though my results say otherwise. i cant stand my lecturer and she always critising me on everything i do to the point i walked out during our lecture. all i want to do is sit in my room and ignore everyone. my family dont understand and refuse to do research or go to therapy with me and think im just making excuses or exgratating things so they just get angry at me when i stay in my room but id rather this then jjust get ignored when they are angry or yell at me 😞  

[006]

Please do not quit university! I have faith in you. I know it is hard but you can do it im sure!
From006

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Ferret3123 . It sounds like you're going through a hard time at the moment. 

I'm wondering what professional supports you have...do you have a psychiatrist who diagnosed your BPD, or maybe medication? 

A handy forum tip is to tag people using @ and the drop-down box. That way they'll know you have replied to them. 

[outlander]

hi @ferret3213

BPD can be really tricky to manage esp when family doesnt understand either. im sorry that your lecturer doesnt seem to be very helpful either, you really shouldnt be crititised every time you attend a lecture.


@Sans911 maybe you can give some advice here?

[Ferret3123]

I do have my psychologist I go to but at $185 dollars each time im finding it really hard to afford her I see my psychiatrist but really only for check ups.im on anti depressants and mood stablishers and they help with the manic moods sometimes but  this week I've been finding it really hard to even just get out of bed 

[Ferret3123]

It hard as well but I'm study psychology so some of the stuff they've covered especially lifespan development was really difficult to handle especially when it was a lecture about he abuse affects mental development

[outlander]

hi @Ferret3123

if you put an @ before a members name itll tag them for you that way they recieve a notification that your talking to them,

medical professionals can be expensive for sure, do you get medicare rebates back? you can usually claim a certain amount back after each session for a certain amount that is. some health centres have free counsellors as well. i know there is a mens club and a womens health centre that both have a free counsellor in their centres. perhaps it would be worth having a look around and see if there is any clinics/centres near you that also have counsellors at a lower cost or free?

[Sans911]

Hi and welcome to the forums @Ferret3123

Uni can be hard enough without the stress of having lecturers criticising you. Do you have an equity & diversity officer at your uni? They can offer help you with getting extensions, extra exam times or other things can be put into place to help support you. And it might be helpful to have a chat to student services or a uni counsellor about how to deal with not only your lecturer but also coping with being triggered by your studies. That might also help with the costs of seeing a psychologist.

If you are doing well in your studies, try to stick with it. Not only is it a good degree to have for many career fields but it gives you a break from your family and a distraction from other stresses in your life.

I'm sorry your family isn't as supportive as they can be of your mental health. It's often difficult for many people to understand just what it's like to be mentally unwell. Try to see it from their perspective too. Perhaps they might frightened of the changes in your behaviour and emotions, and they want to help, but don't know how.

Unfortunately you can't make your family understand or go to therapy with you. But perhaps in time when they are more comfortable around you, and understand a little better how to support you you, they might come around.

There's lots of books about BPD that are quite helpful for families. Some of these might be available in your local library or you can order online. You might be able to subtly leave it on the coffee table for them to pick up when they are ready.

[Perdi]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. At least you are reaching out. I struggle with anxiety and depression and at times like yourself, I have been unable to get out of bed. Despite specialist doctors and therapists, it has been hard to find someone who truly understands me and hears what I’m feeling. I have used Beyond Blue a few times and they were helpful. The person who really helped me was a wellbeing counsellor, maybe you can look for someone like that. I try to do things for myself to nurture my mind and body, and it can be hard at times. I try to set small goals and prioritise things that need doing. I’m about to go for a walk and get some fresh air. On the days I can’t get out of bed, I try to be gentle with myself. I hope you may find some help that suits you, everyone is different but it helps to have someone you can trust and talk to. Sending hugs x

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Ferret3123 ,

I can sure hear things sound tough. Have compassion on yourself. At this time, self-care is essential.

Nowadays, particularly during this pandemic, universities are very understanding of those with mental health issues and/or are struggling. They will provide immense support if you reach out.

Hang in there my friend,

BPDSurvivor