Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
29 Apr 2025 01:10 AM
29 Apr 2025 01:10 AM
Hello, I am new here and reaching out to see if anyone else with PTSD has had a "Functional Freeze" that lasted a long time and how they dealt with it.
I only just learned about this particular PTSD response to stressors tonight and it explains how I have been feeling for the past year, as my life has been slowly falling apart with major changes and stress. Events have been rolling like a tank over me while I cower in fear unable to feel emotions except panic and fear, a sense of unreality, inability to make important life decisions, feeling trapped, going blank, slowed thinking....a general feeling of unease, disconnection, and fear of making changes, treading ice cold water... while sharks circle...
It all started last year when I tried to wean myself off my PTSD meds...and then I crashed. My relationship with my husband tanked and I was pressured into buying an apartment, partly to have a rental income but mainly because I was panicking that I'd have to move out of our family home and need a place to live. I was put on anti-depressants and strong sedatives that left me a zombie unable to talk or even walk. Eventually I found a psychiatrist who put me back on my PTSD meds and I started to get some counselling help. Then my elderly mother had a crisis and was diagnosed with Alzheimers and my parents wanted me to become her full-time live-in carer. Meanwhile I am considering divorce as it seems my husband was using me for years as a cash cow, and became verbally abusive and cruel to me when I was at my lowest.
I am feeling frozen, unable to make decisions like applying for divorce, to pack up and sell up our main home and organise renting the apartment, and to complicate matters our main house is in Europe. Unable to start my life all over caring for my mother, who I love dearly, however my father is very difficult to live with and I doubt I could take living in their home so I would have to get a job and an apartment.......It just all seems too hard at 61 years old, I cant please everyone, not my husband who wants to just get back together, or my parents who want me to start over with them....rock and a hard place.
So, this feeling is 'Functional Freeze", or perhaps it's a combination of 'Freeze" and "Fawn" as I try to please everyone. One entire year of it; I am totally exhausted by it. How to deal with this? How can I trust myself to make the right decisions? I've had PTSD for 26 years, resulting from abuse and trafficking as a child, which I repressed until some domestic violence from a partner and the birth of a child brought it out. It's taken me on a journey through the mental health system that has included being put on all kinds of bad meds, ending up in hospital several times, attempts, relationship problems and deep shame and masochism. I had thought that by now it would have tailed off at last, but no, its still there, I guess I have to accept that it is permanent, that I'll be on meds my entire life.....
Any advice on how others have dealt with this feeling of being stuck and frozen with PTSD would be deeply appreciated. I know we are all stronger than we think we are.... after all, we are still here...
29 Apr 2025 12:02 PM
29 Apr 2025 12:02 PM
Hello @aria3
While I can't speak on this from my own experience, I just wanted to pop by and welcome you to the forums while we wait for the right community members to find your post here.
I'm hearing how overwhelming these huge decisions are, and how great the pressure to make the "right" one can be. Hopefully becoming aware of this experience of "functional freeze" is a step in the right direction for you, as is reaching out here.
I'm really interested to hear from others who have experienced this and how they managed
30 Apr 2025 05:08 PM
30 Apr 2025 05:08 PM
Hello @aria3 welcome to the forum. I love a good air and Aria. Lol.
Hey @Ru-bee
@Paralyzed posted some interesting stuff on trauma and functional freeze.
01 May 2025 09:41 AM - edited 01 May 2025 09:42 AM
01 May 2025 09:41 AM - edited 01 May 2025 09:42 AM
Hi @aria3
Firstly, welcome to the SANE community, and thank you for sharing and having the courage to show such vulnerability. I can relate to your story and understand the internal suffering that you are going through.
If anyone struggles with their mental health, they should seek professional help from their GP and find a good psychologist or psychiatrist before anything else. It is essential to reach out to friends and family, express that they aren’t okay, and inform their loved ones about what is happening to them. Next, educate, educate, and educate yourself about trauma, its impacts, and any formal diagnosis. A Google search can be a fantastic tool for finding information; if you have a random thought or question, type it in and hit search. You’ll be amazed at what you see.
What is SHUT DOWN
...or the Unmyelinated Vagus of the Parasympathetic Nervous System coming from the Dorsal Motor Nucleus
What's interesting about this part of the parasympathetic nervous system? Its function is to keep us frozen as an adaptive mechanism to help us survive to either fight or flight again.
When David Livingstone was attacked by a lion, he later reported, "it caused a sort of dreaminess in which there was no sense of pain nor feeling of terror, though quite conscious of all that was happening."
When our sympathetic nervous system has kicked into overdrive, and we still can't escape and feel impending death, the dorsal vagal parasympathetic nervous system takes control.
It causes freezing or shutdown as a form of self-preservation. (Think of someone who passes out under extreme stress.)How does this look and feel?
Our body posture may collapse or curl up into a ball.
____________________________________________________________________
To manage mental health, we need many different forms of help and support to ensure that we have the best chance of working and easing the pain and suffering. The right help and support, such as medications, talk therapy, alternative therapies, and educating ourselves to improve our self-awareness, is a great start. It is possible to go from surviving to thriving. And for me, I am trying to build a life I don’t need to escape from.
I have tried it all and know what works for me and what doesn’t. I have also been deemed treatment resistant to medication, which has been a challenge in itself, but I am doing a trial with alternative medicines.
I am almost 46 years old, and I believe my mind and body started to use coping strategies when I was just a child, but I can recall the time when the dissociation and freeze coping strategies were used. I was about 14 years old, and I experienced a significant life event involving my late mum, and it is probably one of the most traumatic events of my life. It was at this time in my life that my mind and body chose to dissociate to protect from the pain and suffering that I was feeling, and the FREEZE response would also become another primary coping mechanism.
After this event happened, my life would never be the same, and this is when I started to lose myself, and I eventually became numb to the most vital feelings and emotions.
I was exposed to trauma in utero, and my childhood was very challenging, but before this life event occurred, I do recall experiencing feelings and emotions. I used to cry a lot, but the tears quickly dried up, and I no longer felt things I knew that I should, and I would slowly become paralysed from being able to express outwards any real emotion and inwards, I was numb and my mind silenced. My mind and body were trying to keep me safe and to protect me from any further harm.
In my opinion, the freeze response and dissociation are two of the most soul-destroying coping mechanisms because humans are designed and built with feelings and emotions to help us navigate the human experience.
I will stop there for now with my story and talk about ways we can help ease or deal with these troublesome side effects resulting from exposure to trauma. The first piece of advice I can give you is to educate yourself about trauma and its impact on the mind and body. Continue sharing your story; the SANE community is a great place to share and reminds you that you are not alone. Check out all the information and resources SANE has on its website. If you can't find something or have questions, there will always be a helping hand and support for you when needed.
I will give you a list of books that have been very helpful to me in educating myself on my diagnosis, gaining self-awareness and a better understanding of certain disruptive behaviours, and answering many of the WHYS that have built up over the years.
Books and other resources.
____________________________________________________________________
To address potential vagus nerve shutdown, consider techniques that stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the parasympathetic nervous system. These include slow, deep breathing, cold exposure, singing or humming, and engaging in practices like yoga or meditation.
Here's a more detailed look at methods to support vagus nerve function:
Why it works: Diaphragmatic breathing (breathing from the belly) stimulates the vagus nerve, which is closely linked to the diaphragm muscles.
How to do it: Lie on your back and place a hand on your chest and another on your belly. Inhale deeply through your nose, focusing on expanding your belly while keeping your chest relatively still. Exhale slowly through your mouth.
Benefits: Helps calm the nervous system, reduces stress, and promotes relaxation.
Why it works:
Brief exposure to cold water, like a cold shower or face washing, stimulates the vagus nerve and can help regulate heart rate variability.
How to do it:
End your shower with a few seconds of cold water, or splash cold water on your face.
Benefits:
Can improve vagal tone and help the body transition from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest.
Why it works: These activities stimulate the vagus nerve by activating the vocal cords and throat muscles.
How to do it: Sing along to your favourite music, hum a tune, or gargle with water.
Benefits: Can help regulate the nervous system and promote relaxation.
Why it works: These practices often involve deep breathing and mindful awareness, which can stimulate the vagus nerve and promote relaxation.
How to do it: Practice gentle yoga poses or find a meditation practice that resonates with you.
Benefits: Can improve vagal tone, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.
Laughter:
The contraction of the diaphragm during laughter can also stimulate the vagus nerve.
Massage:
Gentle massage, particularly of the neck and shoulders, can also help stimulate the vagus nerve.
Acupuncture:
Acupuncture is a traditional Chinese medicine technique that involves inserting thin needles into specific points on the body, and it has been shown to have a positive impact on vagus nerve activity.
Mindful Breathing:
Focusing on your breath, even without specific breathing techniques, can help calm the nervous system and activate the vagus nerve.
Regular Exercise:
Physical activity, especially moderate-intensity exercise, can improve vagal tone and overall health.
Gut Health:
Maintaining a healthy gut microbiome may be beneficial for vagus nerve function, as the vagus nerve connects the brain to the digestive system.
Important Considerations:
Start Slowly:
If you're new to any of these practices, start slowly and gradually increase the duration and intensity as you feel comfortable.
Listen to Your Body:
Pay attention to how your body responds to these techniques and adjust accordingly.
Consistency is Key:
Regular practice of these methods can help improve vagal tone and overall well-being.
I am lucky that I am still here because I have made many attempts to leave this life, and one of those attempts put me in the ICU. I honestly didn't think I would pull through and fully recover, but I did, and I am still here and will keep fighting.
I will leave it there, as I could go on forever because I know and want to help you as much as possible. Please reach out at any time, and stay safe. Be kind to yourself.
P 😁
01 May 2025 01:27 PM
01 May 2025 01:27 PM
Wow, this is a great informative post @Paralyzed - thank you
01 May 2025 03:32 PM
01 May 2025 03:32 PM
You are most welcome @Till23
I truly appreciate receiving positive feedback about the information I share. My journey has taught me a lot, and I feel a strong sense of purpose in passing that knowledge on to others. My goal is to create a ripple effect of support and awareness, and I hope to use my experiences in a role within the mental health industry one day. I am grateful for platforms like this that allow me to make a difference in any way I can. I'm thankful for platforms like this where I can make a difference in whatever way.
P 🤗
01 May 2025 05:56 PM - edited 01 May 2025 05:57 PM
01 May 2025 05:56 PM - edited 01 May 2025 05:57 PM
Hi @Paralyzed thank you for the thank you, I appreciate it.
I also wish to pass on any information I can or increase awareness and advocate for people where I can.
This might be off topic, depending on your background, but there is a thread called Child Sexual Abuse (TW) that is about advocacy for people who have experienced trauma.
I think sometimes my "tone" or communication style is not very good, so I do have difficulties constantly worrying I've said something wrong or upset soemone. But enough about me.
I also like this platform, even though I have discovered it late in my journey.
01 May 2025 08:48 PM
01 May 2025 08:48 PM
It is funny that you brought up the topic of Child Sex Abuse, because I was going to ask the question if I can post about the sexual abuse I was subjected to for 12 years in total.
In 2019 I had some very trauma resurface but it presented in a way that was a shock to the system and it has been causing me a lot of problems, and I have been researching high and low to find information to help me make sense of what I was going through but there was nothing out there. Not about what I was going through anyway, and it has been a factor in the attempts to take my life.
What I am going through needs to come out of the shadows, and we need a safe space to speak openly without fear of judgment. Some of the things that I have been going through, I haven't even been able to speak out loud because they are extremely confronting.
01 May 2025 08:52 PM
01 May 2025 08:52 PM
01 May 2025 09:30 PM
01 May 2025 09:30 PM
Hi @Paralyzed
Here is a link - hopefully
https://saneforums.org/t5/Advocating-for-change/Child-Sexual-Abuse-TW
I think it's the usual guidelines about being careful about not putting in too much detail, perhaps adding a trigger warning.
You also have to remember that it will not be a fully safe zone - anyone who stumbles across the SANE forums page will be able to see it. There is no way to know whether people who get perverse enjoyment from reading that type of material will access it. When I think about that it does worry me and I try to be as vague as possible talking mainly about what is happening for me now. I often feel worried that I have said too much, because it's stuff I would never say without knowing the level of confidentiality (ie a registered health professional)
I think the lack of safe spaces is becoming an important topic with the surprise post tonight on these forums that SANE has closed down it's phone support and (previously) text based support systems which were much more confidential
Is what I have written above correct? @tyme @Jynx @Ru-bee @RachSANECEO
Members feature!Log in to add spaces, events and discussions to your favourites.
SANE services are not designed for crisis support. If you require immediate support, please contact one of the service providers below.
No one is online right now. Hold tight and someone will be along soon.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, support, and referrals, contact SANE Support Services
SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE - ABN 92 006 533 606
PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053