Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[RainbowSparkles]

Hi I’m new and this is going to be very long and I’m not sure if I need TW here or not.

Ihave 2 neighbours (they’re on the same block in2 seperate dwellings managed by social housing, who are both in their late 40’s I think.

I’ve spoken to both a bit over the last 5 years and they’re having issues. 

She’s always said he shouts horrible and inappropriate things at all hours, and that she lives in fear everyday and the waiting list to move with housing is several years.

He’s said it her that’s the problem and has convinced his mum that the neighbour is the problem and is stalking him. She has CCTV cameras he believes can see through the bricks on his walls. He says she shouts and keeps the neighbours awake (never heard this) and that she is in psychosis because she’s a junkie (the amount of cops in her house over the last year, I think they’d have noticed something).

I’ve spoken with his mum, and she had me convinced it was the woman neighbours fault, that she was harassing and stalking and decreasing her sons quality of life. That her son would never do or say any of the things the neighbour says he does.

until the past 3 weeks, where I’ve heard him shouting at his voices at 2am, and increasingly more often. The things I’ve heard him shouting are disgusting, and made me feel absolutely terrified!

It’s useless talking with his mum, she won’t listen and I don’t want her to treat me like she’s treated the neighbour, with endless court for protection orders that keep being dismissed because he mums claims have no proof, but keep the neighbour scrambling to find legal supports, and an extreme amount of calls to police to get the woman arrested, no arrest has been made. And the smear campaign with other residents in the street.

I’ve tried to speak with housing, who advised “it’s an issue the residents (him and her) need to sort out. They said if the noise is too much to phone police or the EPA.

I’ve tried police, and even though they think the male has “questionable” topics of “conversation”, he’s mentally I’ll and they’re restricted in what they can do - unless there’s an actual person in front of him when he threatens to r*pe or murder them, or if he’s hurting himself, they can’t do anything and to phone housing or mental health.

I’ve spoken to mental health who say both are on the books, but there’s nothing they can do and to phone housing.

I’ve spoken to the EPA who do not deal with spoken or shouted noise. They said to call police or housing.

I noticed today when I saw her that she’s lost 20kgs, and she’s mentioned many stays in psych hospital for suicide ideation. She’s not doing well, and the look in her eyes said so much!

How do you stop one persons mental illness from harming someone else? Everyone else I’ve spoken to says she should move, but then I’ll still have to listen to his disgusting tirade. 

[hanami]

Hi @RainbowSparkles 

It's nice that you care so much. Others would probably just rather mind their own business and ignore it (which is fine too, people are afraid to get involved). But you sound very caring and empathetic and want what's best for people. I imagine making all those calls and getting nowhere is super frustrating but it sounds like you tried all avenues. I think if I were you I would continue to call the police again and again until someone took notice. We had horrid neighbours at one stage and everyone in the street would call the police about thei constant fighting, noise issues etc. The landlords finally ended their tenancy thank god after they found out about all of the calls to police. I know that's not much advice different to what you're doing but it's all I can think of. Hang in there.

Hanami

[RainbowSparkles]

@hanami tbh I feel guilty knowing this woman is being bullied to su*cide and I’ve ignored it for years.

the police have attended so many times (2-3 times a month, for 3 years), if they were going to do something the should have already! If it was domestic violence they could do so much more!!! But it’s “just” 2 mentally I’ll people “exaggerating” or “making things up” in the eyes of or folks in blue

[hanami]

I hear you @RainbowSparkles . There are way too many domestic violence issues in Australia. The statistics are appalling. Absolutely appalling. How many women have died just this year from the hands of the partners who supposedly love them. It's disgusting. To me, the government need to step in. There needs to be a complete overheal in the police force of targeting domestic violence. If these women were being taken from the street randomly we would be outraged. But because it's their partner the police seem to treat them differently. I'm off on my high horse but I totally hear you and want you to know I agree. I just don't know what more you can do. 

x

[mel811]

call mental health team years ago mum was going nuts her mental health worker said she needs more and gave number mental health team apparently they can just pick them up. cops can take them hospital under mental health act i seen them do it just IF cops want too is the question