Tough Day & Feeling Unworthy

[Gremlin24]

@Jynx night ❤️

[Gremlin24]

@LwaxanaTroi hello, how are you going today? 

[LwaxanaTroi]

howdy @Gremlin24 !

I am quite a bit better today, I really appreciate you following up. 

Honestly I am just trying to break my life worries into the smallest possible tasks and knocking things out one by one until I feel like I am not trying to breathe underwater anymore. 

Financially, things are rough, and I am trying not to beat myself up for it, but also trying to figure out what a second job would look like for me, and what time I would be able to dedicate to it within my capabilities without working myself to death. (although I have tried)

I worked again today, and although sick I feel like I did better than yesterday. I am still making silly mistakes and wish I was given more training so I could be more confident in what I am doing. But hey, I am trying to work with what I have got for the time being. I've been trying so hard to remain positive, and productive, but at times it is hard. 

How are you feeling today @Gremlin24 ? 

[Gremlin24]

@LwaxanaTroi glad you are doing a bit better today. 

Breaking things down sounds like a good way to manage things. I definitely get where your are coming from trying to breathe underwater. It all just gets so overwhelming sometimes. 

I think alot of people are struggling financially at the moment, I know i am but I can't work so it's a real struggle getting by fortnight to fortnight. A second job might be a good option but you also need to look out for you and not burn yourself out completely. 

Is there anyway you could have a bit more training or help to boost your confidence? I struggle to be positive at all so I know what that's like.

I'm somewhat ok for the moment and just keeping my thoughts at bay for as long as I can however i can. 

[LwaxanaTroi]

@Gremlin24 I am glad to hear you are somewhat okay- sounds a bit better than you were yesterday. ❤️ I can relate to trying to keep the thoughts at bay- although I fear I did a little too much CBT and end up gaslighting myself into thinking things are going to be alright when they really aren't. 😬

I feel so ridiculously overwhelmed these days, and it is almost a constant feeling- which is frustrating. I struggle to slow down and take things one at a time. 

I do want a second job, but I do worry about burnout. In an ideal world I would only have one job, and only work 4 days a week- and still be able to live comfortably. (I am American- I would not mind if all four days were 12 hour days lol) That just isn't the reality of hospitality anymore it seems. I've looked into a few retail jobs, but those seem hard to actually land when I haven't had any experience here in Australia in retail yet. The search for a second job continues. 

It is certainly worth asking for some extra training or info, although admittedly I am nervous to ask for it as it is such a quick paced environment. It is a POS system I have never used before, so I did come home and watch literally 3 hours of youtube tutorials on how to use the software... but the problem with that is that it doesn't factor in my specific venue, so sometimes I make mistakes because the way things are done are slightly different than what the online tutorials told me about the program. That is totally understandable- although a bit frustrating. 

I really can't thank you enough for following up- I really appreciate that and it gives me the warm fuzzies. (Maybe it doesn't take much to do that these days, but I am basking in it anyway) ❤️ 

[Gremlin24]

@LwaxanaTroi i try to take these moments to relax and have a bit of a breather cos I know it won't last long. Try to think positive, things will be OK eventually but it's going to take time ❤️.

I'm overwhelmed pretty much all of the time lately so I can relate. 

I used to work 12 hour days in retail and loved it but hospitality is a bit different there. Hopefully you can get a second job at some stage but just take it easy on yourself. It's so hard finding jobs at the moment and I'm kind of glad I don't have to worry about working myself. 

You are showing such dedication to your current job by trying to learn how things work yourself watching videos. You should be really proud of yourself there. Mistakes are normal though, we are only human after all. 

You are so welcome and I'm glad to make you feel that way. We are all here to support each other ❤️