@LwaxanaTroi Big win indeed, good on ya!! I'm really glad to hear that the crisis line was a supportive experience for you 😊
Self-esteem is a tricky one!! I think because we are biologically wired to be social animals, so we tend to put a lot of stock into the opinions of others. And yeah you hit the nail on the head w how much capitalistic ideologies play a part in this as well. It's actually insidious how pervasive the views are. Then there's also the fact that we're also more likely to believe something that's been repeated (even if it's not true), which means if people are repeatedly rude or disinterested in us, it can feel almost impossible to believe anything other than 'It must be me, I must be unlikeable' - no matter how much we logically know it not to be the case.
The flipside of this, and what helped me a bunch, is that repetition of good things also works!! Even though (especially at first) it felt sooooo weird, lame, awkward, and uncomfortable, I started to take time each day to repeat this little like... self-esteem poem/mantra that I wrote. I might even see if I can find it to share! But yeah like, not only does the repetition help, but so does saying it out loud. You know how sometimes we can't admit stuff out loud cos it would suddenly feel all too real? Well that works here too!
The other thing that helped me is social feedback. Much harder, because it obvs relies on having genuine and caring people around us. What's your social world look like? Do you have friends or family who you feel safe and comfortable to be vulnerable with?
