Hello my dear @Zoe7
It can be quite traumatic for people that struggle like us to lose that special support person in our lives when they move on with theirs. It's like a small death in a way and we wonder how we will cope. I went through this a couple of times and I did grieve and felt a bit hopeless and lost at the time. But I also found that by eventually putting myself out there again that other special people (some medical, others peers) eventually came along to fill the void. Friends/support can come into our lives when we least expect it and when we really need them. Life looks out for us. That's the wonderment of it.
I think it is a good thing you are getting plenty of sleep for now. Emotionally it is a blow and can be so draining - our bodies need to physically repair and prepare to cope. That is what I am personally finding is happening to myself now. Although a bit annoying for me as I can sleep a ridiculous 9 to 11 hours lately and most of the day is already gone - it's helping towards healing. I will go with it for now living moment to moment trying to gently incorporate more rountine and activities within my limitations. This you may find helpful too my friend. Don't see what you can't do - give everything to those small tasks you can do. Even if it's going up the road and saying hello to shop/medical staff. All an achievement. The way you help me and others on here are achievements - lifesaving ones at times - that's purpose and meaning in life my friend and you have it.
The frustrating part is we aren't where we want to be yet and getting there can seem like forever. I can feel down about that too. Just taking it one day at a time for now. I have struggled this way for 8 years now but have improved since initial breakdown. I may never be quite the same again but will utilise the bit I can do and make the most of it. And be happy with that. Acceptance of what I cannot change but working on the bit I can plays a big role towards my outlook in life. Life change isn't moving as fast as I would like presently but am pleased of coming out of that hell hole of 5 years ago which ocassionally I relapse into but not everyday like it was before. That's something. And those nice moments when I stitch and laugh with hubby - simple but what I hang onto. As that is what happiness is - achieving special moments as the rest is used up with the battle and the determined hard work of pushing to get to get there. The rewards of happiness is in relishing the moments.
Can you talk to or ring your sister or mother on those really tough days/nights? What is your present physical prognosis and treatment plan? Hope today is treating you a bit better. Mine is moving very slowly and I feel unmotivated, but tomorrow is always another day to try again that I look forward to. 🤗xx
