Restraining Order - Thank you.

[Powderfinger]

@TideisTurning 

That was such a beautiful post from you to read. I'm very tired this afternoon, so will come back to it when I'm feeling a bit more alive. 

PF

[Powderfinger]

@AussieRecharger 

I expect to still be up and down for quite some time yet so will still reach out. 

[Oaktree]

Well done @Powderfinger 

I am sure the process wasn't easy for you.

Did you send the letter?

[Last-Lament]

@Powderfinger I am so very happy for you having been heard and supported by the legal proceedings you were so brave as to undertake.

So very happy for you.

Validation of one's experience is vital to a survivor of abuse. 

   

[Powderfinger]

@TideisTurning 

Yesterday regarding it being powerful and validating, there is just a tiny smidgen of it that I felt. The damage is so incredibly deeply set in. It's going to take a long time to recover. My brain is still very disordered. I'm not travelling well at all. 

The courage it took me, perhaps I will feel that later down the track. I'm numb most of the time. 

I'm not sure why you feel honoured to walk this journey with me or why it feels like a privilege for you. I mean I don't register what that means. Maybe you can clarify? 

Yesterday, me doing something nice for myself was to go to the beach after court, by myself a cold drink and just sit there by myself for a while. Then, so came home and crashed. I'm still not able to process much. 

Yes, I took the step. It took me a while to take it. I think the time was right. I'm so thankful to the police officers that supported me all the way and they even came to court with me. I'm incredibly grateful to them. 

PF

[Powderfinger]

@Oaktree 

Hi and thank you. No, it was far from easy. 

In regards to the letter, I decided not to send it in the end. I don't think I will ever send her a letter to be honest. I gave her enough of my time and I think doing it would be a complete waste of my time. I did not write the full letter so I just stopped. 

I feel it would not provide me anything good. I feel she is not even worthy of my words. She is a narcissist, that's all I needed to know to make my mind up to not send the letter. 

[Powderfinger]

@Last-Lament 

Thank you. Yes, indeed validation is crucial to a survivor of abuse, that and acknowledgement. 

[TideisTurning]

Hi @Powderfinger, to answer your question, I say 'honoured' and 'priviliged' because I realise how personal the stories I get to hear through my work, including yours, are to those sharing them with me. I consider it an honour and a privilege to have such stories shared with me and to be able to walk alongside people during some of their hardest times. Because your sharing those stories, letting us in and allowing us to sit with you and support you through those times is a choice. You don't have to share, let us in or allow us to support you, but you do and you have. For me, that's where the honour and the priviliege lies. I hope that makes sense 😊 

TideisTurning 🌸

[Powderfinger]

@TideisTurning 

It makes sense. Thanks for clarifying. Tired today. 

[Powderfinger]

@TideisTurning @Last-Lament @Oaktree @AussieRecharger @BlueBay 

All I can say in this moment is these few things. It was the hardest time for me in going through with this restraining order. Mentally, physically and emotionally. This may make no sense to anybody else but it does to me and that's what matters. It broke my heart to do it. Why? Because I wish things could have turned out differently at times. 

Aside from that, gosh she lost big time. She lost a sexy, beautiful, intelligent, funny, loving, caring, talented, interesting, fantastic in bed, amazing, full of surprises, quirky, different and special person. 

No, I don't have tickets on myself, I just know I was worth more than I was given, worth more than she treated me, it was way less than I deserved, she lied to me, betrayed me, used me, abused me, controlled me, manipulated me and didn't know how to love me or what love even was. I was actually too good for her. She was hitting way below her belt. I treated her well, adored her in fact, loved her with everything I had but everything was a whole damn lie and game to her. The shame is on her. Her life will never amount too much. I tried to help her improve her life, she didn't want it. It was a waste of my time. The truth is there was never a moment I wasn't being abused. 

I fully expect myself to go through heavy emotions and more pain. For me it's over, was over the day I ended it. Now when she is served with the restraining order, that's my final message. You can't abuse me anymore, this is the consequences of your choices and you are damn lucky this is all I'm doing. Taking my power back now.