Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Mother]

So I need help with my husband. <br>He had his first episode about 2 and a bit years ago. He uses occasional illicit drugs. The episodes only happen when he takes this drug but I can see more and more of his behaviour in real life becoming worse. He loses the plot and thinks everyone is against him, he gets angry at me and sends abusive texts if I don't not leave a party that we are both at together. He doesn't even tell me he is leaving but just loses it at me. He sends me abusive texts generally is along the lines of trust issues. <br>Which I can also assure you that there is absolutely no reason for him to not trust me. <br>I love him but I hate that he takes drugs and then flips it. The episodes can go on for days and I'm always in the wrong for what he has done. <br>He has broken his hand once by hitting a wall and another time has pushed me against something when I found him at the local pub on a Sunday doing them in the toilets. <br>He is agressive and he frightens me when he gets in these states.<br>Personally I think he needs to seek help but how do I get someone to help themselves? How do I get him the help that he needs? <br>We have to beautiful children together. I want our relationship to work but am I stupid for staying or does he really need my help to get through this? Where and how do I draw the line? I'm so desperate for advice and help! I just don't know what to do? Personally I feel he is suffering from psychosis. <br>We have all had childhood problems but his has been something that he has never let go of! I need help! I don't know what to do

[traveller]

Hi @Mother 

Its traveller here one of the Moderators on the Forum...firstly i wanted to welcome you to the Forum. it can take a lot of courage to actually reach out for support so well done. I'm sorry you are going through such a dificult time at the moment with your husbands behaviour.

I'm not sure of what support services you are aware of or linked into, but i wanted to say that everyone has the right to feel safe. This number is The national Domestic Violence number which is 1800respect (1800 737 732), they offer support and safety planning for women impacted by violence and/or abuse. Lifeline is a 24 x7 support line on 131114. You may be aware of these numbers already. If you feel at all unsafe or the children are at risk then please do not hesitated to call 000 and request assistance. Please stay safe. I can provide further support options to to you via the email system if you wish. 

regards Traveller

[Amour_Et_Psyché]

Hi @Mother,

This is another moderator of the SANE forums. Again, Welcome to the Forums! I just wanted to check-in and see how you have been going with your husband?

I also wanted to link in a thread that you might find helpful. It is called "My husband endured a few months of drug induced psychosis."

I hope things have been a bit better for you!

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

[Faith-and-Hope]

HI @Mother and welcome to the forums.

i hope you have managed to reach out somewhere for help.

We are only able to control our own behaviours, not someone else’s, and while your husband is caught in the grip of drugs, and unable to see that he is harming his family, the responsibility for your children lies with you.  

As awful as it is to face up to, your husband is being abusive towards you.  1800Respect can help you.

https://www.1800respect.org.au

It may be possible for counsellors to reason with your husband and help him to see that he is in danger of losing his family before he does, and sometimes it’s only the reality of facing this potential loss that causes someone to take responsibility for what is happening to them and seek help for themselves.

The most important thing for you at the moment is gaining support for yourself and the children.  There are some things that we should not be trying to face alone.

I hope this helps ....

F&H

[Bubbles3]

@Mother i have had to call 1800respect and they have very helpful. In fact i had to call them just yesterday. Hope thing get better for you