Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Would you be free to talk at all?

I'm feeling pretty sad and lonely tonight. 

However, I think we spoke about this a bit last week. I do have a plan of activities to do for next week.

Night time is hard for me @RiverSeal. 

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 

I'm sorry that you are feeling pretty sad and lonely tonight and I can chat for a bit. Has something happened that has caused or amplified these feelings tonight? It's good that you have a plan of activities to do for next week as it gives you something to focus on for the future.

I understand that night times are hard and I was there for a long time in my life too. 

What do you think you can do that will fill your mind this evening?

Sitting with you tonight!

RiverSeal

[Birdofparadise8]

No, not really. I've been home all day. I didn't want to go out when it was raining so much.

I've been feeling like this a lot the past couple of weeks. There are less than two weeks to go before I go back to Hobart, so I suppose that's something to look forward to and dread at the same time @RiverSeal. 

Who knows? Nothing helps when you are feeling alone. 

[RiverSeal]

I'm going to stay with my parents for Christmas and New Year and I find it challenging too. I am used to having my own space and freedom to be who I choose and I find I revert to a younger version of myself when I am with them. I am making the most of it though as my parents a getting pretty old and frail these days. I get that you have mixed feelings about going to stay with your parents in Hobart.

Have you been doing any of the things you like to do tonight? What can you do right now @Birdofparadise8 that can change how you are feeling?

I've been listening to Taylor Swift a lot this week and she is really growing on me.

RiverSeal

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, parents can be difficult. I don't go back to being younger because my mum still acts like I'm 15 or something. I also think you remember what happened with both my parents the last time I was there. I would really appreciate it if it didn't happen again. 

I'm just watching a movie. It's alright, I guess. 

Nice, are you listening to her now @RiverSeal 

I can't wait for the tour. Have you seen the movie? I can't remember if I've asked, sorry.

[RiverSeal]

Remember you can call Home | 1800RESPECT if there are any incidents with your parents that make you feel uncomfortable when you are back home. Are you still connecting with a Counsellor at KHL on the weekends @Birdofparadise8? 

I'm just listening to some chillout music at the moment but was listening to Taylor all day while I was out. I haven't seen the movie but maybe I should now I'm such a big fan!

Watching a movie is a good distraction and time filler. Do you watch any TV series on Netflix or anything? I like to get really into something that lasts longer than a movie these days. 

RiverSeal

[Birdofparadise8]

I don't think I'll need that. It never gets dangerous or violent. It is more annoying and uninvited. Mum only touched me that one time, and my dad, he was just trying to piss me off with the bathroom situation. I will try and reinforce my boundaries as much as possible. 

No, I emailed her this afternoon to reschedule at that point in time at 2 pm. I thought things were going okay, and I wasn't really in the mood to talk on the phone as well, so we've rescheduled for this Thursday. 

She is pretty good. You should go and see it before it finishes. I'm waiting as I don't want to spoil the concert. 

What made you start listening to her @RiverSeal?

I don't have much to watch. Everything I like, I seem to have watched. I prefer TV shows as well as movies. It's funny; I could sit down and watch three to four hours of a TV show but not want to watch a whole movie. It's so weird. 

You should look at All the Light we can not see it's such a good one on Netflix. It is only four episodes, but gosh, it's good. 

[RiverSeal]

There are Counsellors at 1800RESPECT who can support you more with family-related issues it doesn't have to be about violence. Just a place to talk and work through your thoughts.

Ok you know yourself best and at least you have that appointment coming up for Thursday and you can have a chat about how you felt today. Beyond Blue has Counsellors too and are 24/7 if you want to chat with someone tonight and talk about your thoughts. They have a chat option too so you might prefer to do that if you don't feel like talking. I used to use these support lines all the time even when I started my job here as I had a lot going on and I was pretty isolated too.

Yeah, I look into Taylor's movie and see if I can go sometime soon though I will be in regional QLD soon so it might not be on there. 

I got into listening to Taylor because I thought well she is doing so well and there has to be a good reason right? So I have been exploring her music for a while and I have started to resonate with it lately. 

I have Apple TV Plus and I get it free because I'm a student and have a student subscription to Apple Music. Nobody knows the shows I watch but I enjoy them and love using the app I guess because it's free more than anything.

Take care

RiverSeal

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh, okay, I understand what you mean. Thank you. Yeah, well, 2 pm Laura was feeling right compared to 7 pm Laura. Anyway, I'm very tired. My meds have kicked in, so I'll head to bed. 

Yeah, they can be good to chat to. Sometimes, it's a little hard with only 20 min. 

I'm sure it would be worth it. Oh yes, I know. I didn't really listen to her that much before this year. Now I have posters all over my room. 

I hope you have fun in QLD. Is that where your parents live?

Ah, nice. I have that all well. I'm not sure how I have it; maybe because I have a Mac, I really don't know. Lessons in chemistry are really good on there @RiverSeal 

Have a good night. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @creative_writer @Blackbird11 @Snowie @tyme @ENKELI @Bow @bartart23 @Shaz51 @outlander @Kyle1 

How is everyone today? I'm just happy it's not raining here in Melbourne, so I can finally go for a bike ride.