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Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Ahh yep I rememeber the STOP one @CheerBear

yeah im not sure if its better to have just one to focus on that was its semi automatic that when things start to happen thats the first one I use as well. I think its more the prompting thing though casue I generally dont think of grounding strategies when things happen. I mainly do distractions but sometimes my art and music dont really help and neither does being in a panic.

I find most of my moments happen a lot in the shower believe it all not. It bugs me when that happens as thats pretty much the only time ive got to myself. Im not really sure whats effective as yet. I try to either talk it out or ignore it. But I know that im going to need to put more time and effort in to practice these things. Before bed though I generally do a few minutes of some sort of breathing exercise so help fully relax into sleep. If im tired enough then I generally fall asleep doing that.


My flashbacks are crazy bad at the moment so im thinking youve got the right idea with just practicing the one technique. I actually find sometimes the 5 senses ones makes it a lot worse for me esp during flashbacks because mine are so vivid its better to do something else as focusing on what I can smell and feel really arent great for that moment. I need to get away from that rather than focssing on those.
I would leave the name part out as that name is a trigger in itself and would probably keep sending me off the deep end but it can still work without that sentence.
I might make a few of them up though and start to work out which ones work best for certain things e,g use the flashback protocol for flashbacks, the 5 senses for general panic things as you know I have a lot of those. Not sure what works to bring me out of depression though. I generally find its just a metter of time and just ride it out or doing things like getting into nature.

I would definently be keen on joining in the book reading. Do you have a thread for that or just speak out it in general terms with those who are reading it? Im about to start trauma work not the SA but the the other trauma so this could be used to my advantage as well.

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Coming back to this @outlander 🙂 Fish feeding and washing time. With the added fun of needing to fill buckets of hot water to put in the bath so it is earm 😕

Catch ya later after all is quieter in the house

💛

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

All is quiet (er) in the house now and I can get back to this @outlander.

I can definitely see benefit in practicing and refining one skill/tool, but everyone would be different here. I have a huge list/tool kit of strategies like you do too, just sometimes it is a matter of remembering to use them, which is why I like the idea of a card. I laminated mine today 🙂

I can understand how it may be tricky to tune in to senses when you're triggered. I guess the idea is that if you tune in to what is physically around you and happening in the 'right now', you can move away from being consumed by the things you are sensing from the 'back then'. I would suggest that if you're triggered by a certain scent/sight/sound that actually is there in the 'right now' etc, you try and find others to focus on that are different to the ones your brain is going to from the 'back then'.

As for the part with the naming word on the flashback halting card, from my understanding it is an important step as it prompts you to consider what it is that is triggering you, so you can know it is not happening now. I use things like 'feeling trapped', 'losing everything', 'the huge fright', 'not being able to escape', 'not being in control' in this box a bit. Like I said earlier, my triggers are often feelings I have that feel similar to when I felt like that in the past (and everything turned ugly), rather than vivid recollections and pictures of the event. My brain likes to save those ones for when I am asleep. Again, whatever works for you is right though, as this stuff couldn't be more unique to each of us.

I can flip at a word (or many) too, quite possibly the same one you're referring to. I used to be much worse, then got better, then got not so ok with it again. I remember during the time I got better with it, it was powerful in a way to realise the word is a word and it itself hasn't got power over me. I intentionally used it, at my own pace as it felt right, on my own or with people who it felt right with, and then it didn't 'get me' for a while. The big bang happened and the word has regained some power again, but one day I hope to get it back. It's such an individual thing though, and I have bucketloads of respect for however any person chooses to use/not use words that mean something to them.

As for the book, the last book 'we' read, we had/have a thread about. I have been meaning to ask whether any book people want to join in with another book club kind of helping book, and plan to do that soon. I'll tag you in if you'd like and you can decide whether it is something you're up for too 🙂

Good luck with the cards and hope they help you too.

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

CB ive jsut come across a really bad realisation to do with my abuse 😞 @CheerBear

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

there was a night I said I wanted things to stop and he said..............if I did he would..... commit suicide

what sort of person says that

how am i suppose to feel about that now

i dont know what to think or how to handle this 😞

 

 

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

and thank you for responding CB, ill reply better when i can get my thoughts sorted surrounding this (above msg)

@CheerBear

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

That's super tough when that happens @outlander. Sorry to hear.

I wonder if now is a good time to open up your giant tool kit and try something that feels right for right now?

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

yes @CheerBear thats what im doing at the moment

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Hi @Former-Member

I found something out yesterday about one of my abusers and I am not coping. It disgusts me and I feel sick.  I don't know what to do.

BB

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

are there any @moderator around

even just an email

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