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Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

WTF @outlander

how can a therpaist say that!!!!!

I am really angry for you.  No way.  You have to be ready to talk to a therapist.  I don't believe they should force you into talking about past sexual abuse.  It is damn hard enough to talk about it let alone being forced into talking. 

OMG i am so angry.  I don't blame you for not going back.  Can you google trauma psychologists/therapists and make an appointment.  Or get a referral from your GP.  

 

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Thanks @CheerBear

Fingers crossed she is a good psychologist.  I'll let you know 🙂

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

My abuse flashbacks @BlueBay are so vivid they actually involve all my senses. I can hear everything thats happening. Sometimes i think hes right next to.me. i can actually feel everything which was why the smear was so traumatic. I can see everything like i was still there and i can also smell everything.
Theae ones happen to me all the time and i dont know what to do about them. If they were quick little fly bys it might not be so bad to control but when they go through a particular 'session' it lasts usually for ages and it makea me have a panic attack as well. Its been alot of them of recent.
I dont know what to do ita even worse when im in thr shower. I generally try to block out the imaginary aound vy covering my ears and teying to bury my head and hiding. Doesnt really work that well does it

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

I thought the same thing @BlueBay
The first session was ok as it was that general get to know you thing but the second one ahe said you need to go into more details so i edged in abit more into how i knew the person how often it happened. The sort is was as in was it innapropriate touching or more. I said more than that more like rape. And then i said i needed a break and she kept pushing and i said i dont want to talk more about it i cant go any further she snapped and said well if you want my help then you need to go into it.
She was constantly checking the time which bugged me. She always made sure i signed the victims of crime papers to day id been. She would always write i was there for an hour but each session i went to so only the 2 and walked out the second one was only half hour. So she was a more of a money one not a carinf one.
I never went back

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

I've got mine crossed for you too @BlueBay, and will keep an eye out to see how you got on 🙂

@outlander - I noticed something you just said above about covering your eyes and blocking everything out and hiding. I totally understand why that might be an instictive thing to do, but it doesn't sound particularly helpful during a flashback. From my experience and understanding, doing the total opposite could work better. Opening your eyes, looking around, focusing on the details that are around you where you are, noticing everything that is around you - that may work better. Once the intensity has passed and you know you're in the present, then snuggling under/in something might give you some comfort.

I think you know this though, but thought I'd remind you as it seems you're having trouble with flashbacks in particular recently.

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

I can see the pics now @CheerBear that does make sense. im going to make a few of those up for a few different places so i have easy access to them.

 

no it doesnt help hiding but it scared the crap out of me and it never seems to get easier. so the grounding card you have here jsut might help as itll make me focus on something else and its physically guiding me through the steps

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

I think im going to make some of those cards today. They look pretty simple to make and then might take them to get laminated as well then i can keep them in my car and a few other sneaky places 🙂

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Can you see the picture ok @outlander? I have mine if you can't. I might hunt down the laminator today too. Been looking for some motivation to clean my desk and maybe this is it 🙂

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Yep i can see it pretty good @CheerBear 💕
Is tpur prompt cards all the same or do you have different ones as well?

It might be good to have a few different sorts maybe... maybe one with this one another with the 5 senses... any others maybe?

Re: Moving forward (sexual abuse )

I have just this one at the moment @outlander. I used the STOP sign one that I'm pretty sure I've shared with you before, a while ago. That was an MBSR one helped with stress reduction, before I had the full blown trigger/panic/re-experiencing thing going on.

I found that practicing one often can really help me. Now I don't need a physical stop sign to see to prompt me to use that tool, although I am forgetting to use it as often as I was. That may be more that things have changed and it's less effective at the moment too. That tool was super helpful for high stress kid moments, so I might do another for the kitchen (where lots of our moments can happen) if I find myself slipping with it.

This dual awareness/flashback halting protocol one is the one I am trying to focus on using at the moment. I've found that by practicing one often I can visualise it without needing a physical prompt. So this morning I could 'see' the card in my mind in bed in the dark when I woke with a fright.

I get a bit stuck on the "because I am remembering... (name only)" part. I find that so many of my triggers are internal sensations/feelings/emotions, and connecting what they are attached to exactly, is tricky. Practicing doing it though is probably helpful in itself, as connecting what's happening with the why and to the now, seems pretty important.

Whatever works for you is key though! I'd be very interested in hearing how you get on with it 🙂

Also, I was wondering whether you'd be keen on joining in a book reading thing? I'm thinking of reading another helping book soon. Maybe the DBT skills manual (if I can find it in the library) or one that I found helpful before about trauma recovery. Going to check with a little turtle before to see if she's interested as well. Both can be found in the libraries here. I know you're stretched for time and maybe it isn't your thing, but I thought I'd mention it 🙂

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