I pulled an almost all nighter looking for things about my mum

[ArraDreaming]

She died last year

[ArraDreaming]

I thought you knew that

[ArraDreaming]

I’m gonna go do Christmas stuff with my family anyway

[ArraDreaming]

I just want to focus on my family but all I can think about is mum

[ArraDreaming]

What would she be doing if she was around for Christmas this year

[Appleblossom]

@ArraDreaming Love that you have purple in the garden because she loved the colour. I have lots of of actual plant cuttings from people I love who are now passed.  It is hugely grounding for me. Also I have photos and pictures on the wall.  A long time ago someone said it was good to have something external so that we dont always have to carry the yearning and questioning inside ourselves. It kind of gives us permission to think about other things in life and young family def need our attention.  Yet I have done the same searching for answers.  I actually did find some interesting things online that happened right at the time we (3 sibs and I) went into "the care system" in 1966.  It felt weird but confirming.

Parenting is such a mixed bag but we need basic stuff to be able to provide food and housing security.  I know what its like not to have that too.  And to know my parents did their best.  My lawyers wanted me to sue the state for returning us to our parents and I would not do that, even though it was not great going home. It was still better to know who were my biological family and they looked like and thought and did. As different from people being nice or charity... or just state involvement ... or people being yuk.

Merry Christmas Jay

[ArraDreaming]

Thank you @Appleblossom
sounds like we have both experienced similar things.
I will always miss my mum especially around these times, as much as spending time with my family brings me joy she will always be in my mind
Merry Christmas

[ArraDreaming]

Today I bought a purple bauble for our tree and one of my kids found a spot to hang it up for me

[tyme]

Awwwww. That's sooo special! @ArraDreaming 

It would be great to have the kids in their outfits in front of the tree and purple bauble in a photo... or attempt of a photo lol

[ArraDreaming]

@tyme yeah we are going to try that they are just having a run around outside so we can wear them out for Santa lol it’s been a big day of family pre Christmas celebrations and we went Christmas  light looking last night except it was way too late and all 3 fell asleep in the car 😂😂