Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Maud]

My husband has been in mental decline for most of this year and it has increased this past couple of weeks. At the mere mention of a GP he becomes erratic and is paranoid so believes I am, in his words, dangerous. I asked him to leave home but then realised that that sent him into even further erratic behaviour. He was raised catholic but in our 20+ yrs together hasn’t been in any way religious and is now telling me he has had a religious awakening 4 years ago and that God is talking to him and showing him the future. He said he has no time to discuss our relationship because he is busy doing important things for God under the guise of his business which isn’t off the ground yet nor has investment. I have asked him to return home tomorrow in the hope of just keeping him safe and calm but beyond that I don’t know what to do and I’m terrified of what the future holds. Any advice is appreciated

[babyshark]

Hi @Maud 

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. May I encourage you to have a chat with 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) around your safety at this time. While we want to support and care for our loved ones it is also important we maintain our own safety, in order to best help.

Take good care,

Babyshark

[Maud]

Thank you, I appreciate your reply. I don’t feel like I’m in any danger - are there things I should be looking for that the respect helpline will help identify for me? 

[hanami]

Hi @Maud 

I've just come across your post this morning. I'm one of the peer workers here at SANE. It sounds like you're going through something really tough right now and understandably fearful about what's going on with your husband. I'm glad you clarified you're safe and don't feel in any danger, that's really good for us to know.

That said, your husband's mental health right now is really worrying. If I were in your position I would most likely call the GP myself or even the mental health unit at the hospital. It sounds like he his thoughts and behaviour have been escalating and he really needs urgent help. How would you feel about reaching out to a service on his behalf? Do you have another mental health service in your area that you maybe could call and ask for support?

Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going. I can hear how concerned you and while it may seem like you are being deceitful by going against what your husband wants, I feel there are times we have to step in when they don't appear to have the capacity and self-awareness to do so themselves. 

Hanami

[Maud]

Hi Hanami

thank you for reaching out. Are you able to tell me what the GP or hospital might do? 
I have made an appt to see my own GP but that isn’t until the 4th. Do you mean I should reach out to his GP? 
He is currently home and I am keeping everything very calm by avoiding any confrontation on topics that I know set him off. I know if he found out that I had contacted anyone about his health he would react very badly and that worries me. So I’m not entirely sure what to do. 
we have a daughter who is 16 who lives with us and she is going through a week or two of year 11 exams so I am trying to keep things calm for her. 
Any advice is greatly appreciated 

[hanami]

Hi @Maud 

Yes I would reach out to his GP and let them know what's going on. They may be able to offer you advice on what to do. I'm so sorry this is happening, it sounds awful. Sending hugs

Hanami

[cherryblossom8]

Hi @Maud,

I am very sorry your husband is not feeling the best. Did you have any luck with contacting his GP? I do hope they were able to direct you towards services that can help. My husband has had 2 severe episodes of psychosis in the past 2 years and his earlier symptoms started with paranoia. I realised gradually that he had lost touch with reality, but that his delusions were very real to him. I understand this makes it hard for you to make him accept that he needs help. It's not uncommon for people with psychotic behaviours to feel extremely suspicious towards medical staff or authority in general: in my husband's case he had feelings of persecutions, so he thought medical staff might not observe privacy or try to frame him in some way. It all sounds very weird for an outsider, but unfortunately, it's a very scary place to be for the person experiencing it.

It's good that you're thinking of making a calm space for him to try and relieve anxieties. However, it sounds to me that your husband does need professional help, as you want to avoid him spiralling and getting worse. If you have not had luck with his GP, I would recommend that you contact your local hospital and speak to their mental health unit. They might be able to put you in touch with your local CATT Team (Crisis Assessment and Treatment). Here is some information for you: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/crisis-management. I do hope things are a bit clearer for you and please do seek help, as it's a lot for one person to carry. Having that support will help you look after yourself too. Take care, Maud.