Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I need help but I don't know what to do. I've been referred to a psychiatrist but I have to wait for appointment. I've been up since 3 just sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, I'm so physically agitated and can't stop twitching and like screwing my toes up. My skin feels weird like I'm not in my body and I have to keep pinching myself on the stomach to make sure I can actually feel it. I'm so tired of this and I am scared I'm going to lose my job because I've just rung in sick again for the third time this fortnight

[Change123]

Hi @Former-Member

Try to do some deep breathing, breathe in slowly and say "in with the good" and then breath out slowly saying "out with the bad" if you do this atleast 5 times it will calm you a bit.  

I can see you are in a lot of pain, is there a chance you can see your gp again and see if they can get you in sooner?  I understand how desperate you feel, I have been there many times with my BPD.  Just dont think too far ahead keep thinking in the present and trying to distract yourself with what ever, TV, calling a friend or even if you have a pet - spend some time with it.  I know this is the last thing you feel like doing but I often find when I'm freaking out if I do something physical it tires me out and calms me down - like playing with my dog.  The first 5 minutes its like I can bearly do it but then I start to feel better.

Keep writing on this forum to help distract you - we care.

[Lunar]

Hello @Former-Member

You seem to be really quite stressed out and trying to reach out for support which is great you have put that psychiatrist appointment process in action, that must not have been easy. It sounds really tough sitting in that uncertainty of when that will be and also feeling the pressure to go to work. It's important you do everything you can to look after yourself right now and then you are more able to cope with the work issue down the track, that will come.

I am also thinking that perhaps today you could just try to calm yourself in any way that works for you even if it only works for 5-10 mintues, things like having a nice warm shower, eatng something yummy and listening to relaxing music, do you think you can do any of those today? Just take it day by day that is all you can do when you feel this way okay.

Thinking of you,

Lunar

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Lunar and @Change123 I'm just so physically and mentally drained. My mind is going a hundred miles an hour and my body is exhausted. I have booked in to see my psychologist at midday WA time. Dogs head resting on my arm as I type. I just want to know what is wrong with me so I can get on and deal with it and get help and medicine and move on. I feel like no one can help me. Even talking to the psychologist doesn't help make this stop. I still feel horrendous after and she charges $280 which is a joke. I've stopped shaking like a leaf now but I'm still crying my eyes out and for some reason I feel kind of angry with myself. I'm just so sick of this

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

How dissapointing that your psychologist appointment didn't help. I just wanted to check to make sure you had used your 10 sessions that are eligable to be bulkbilled? Sometimes it doesn't cover the full cost, but you will get some of it back.

Do you usually find the psychologist helpful? If not, please consider changing -  sometimes we just don't click with psychologists and that's okay. It's more important that you find one that you connect with.

I hope today has been kinder to you.

[Former-Member]

Hi @NikNik thank you for your thoughts. I have a mental health care plan and it's only my second appointment. I asked her if she could charge me less and she has reduced it so that I pay $100 and Medicare pays $85. I think that earlier I was in such a state I was just getting angry that someone couldn't just tell me what's wrong, why I am feeling like this, and give me some tablets or therapy to make it go away. Now that my head is clearer I know that in reality that's not how it works and it's going to take time. She is a nice lady, the psychologist, I just get frustrated sometimes when she makes suggestions of connections to my childhood because I think she is so far off track. But now that I think more about it maybe she is right. I just don't have much patience at the moment

[NikNik]

No worries @Former-Member - I understand those moments of frustration.

I still encourage you though to look for someone else if you don't feel like you're connecting or making progress - especially when you're paying that much.

Take care

[Owlunar]

Hey @Former-Member

That's way to much to pay a psychologist - but that is not the most important thing right now

I checked something out with my therapist the last time I went - ages ago - February I think

I told her anyone talking to a therapist could agree with them in speaking but not believe that in their heart - so it is important to tell your therapist if you don't agree - mine told me that she has no way of knowing now what she says affects her client

So try that

Actually - impatience with the subject won't make it go away - and tablets can help your coping mechanisms - but the process is a long one and you need direction from a qualified person - even the Forum Members - but at the end of the day you have to find this yourself

We can talk about this - I do understand - I remember feeling the same way myself

Keep talking to us - we know - we really do - we have all had to start the process of self-help with professional help

Dec

[Angeltree]

Hi

Anxiety attacks are debilitating. WIth the right approach and an experienced Psychiatrist it is possible to start using desentisation techniques. I had to do this at one point. It involved staying in the situation when the attack occurred and noting my reactions on a scale of 0-15 over the course of 15 minutes rating myself every 5 minutes. 15 is unbearable and 0 is no anxiety. I rated myself in lifts, underground car parks, cinemas, at bus stops, in busy shopping centres etc - as you can see I had a pattern of agoraphobic anxiety.

When I stayed in the situation that triggered it I stopped experiencing unrelated anxiety attacks at any time of day and night. I started treating the anxiety against where and when it occurred. This then took a further ten weeks to stop. Finally today I might feel anxiety but I know not to flee but wait 15 mins to observe it reduce.

i liked desensitisation because the technique did not involve medications.

hope sharing my story helps

[Ellu]

Dear Nooks,

I am glad that you are seeing a psychologist for your problems. This is just my opinion, but I think you should also make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. There may be some underlying problem which has not been diagnosed. A psychiatrist can do an assessment and then tell whether you have any psychiatric problems which could be helped by medication.  Psychologists and psychiatrists do different jobs, and it may be difficult for your psychologist to evaluate any psychiatric problems. Hopefully you do not have any psychiatric problems, and then that will set your mind at peace.

I hope you can work constructively with your psychologist. If you feel you are getting no-where, don't forget you can always see another psychologist. You will not get better tomorow, but you WILL get better. You are doing all the right things, have confidence in yourself.

Ellu