Life and trauma

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 but I'm on my own cos noone will help me. The dark thoughts are back tonight with a vengeance, I'm so very tired of fighting. I don't have any strength left in me. Where's that light at the end of the tunnel? Is there even one for me? 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

There's always a light, it's just not always visible and we need help finding it.

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 there's too much darkness 😞. How am I supposed to keep going like this? How much is one person expected to take before they just quit. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

I cant answer that.  Its not something that is simply defined.  Its important to remember that feeling this way isnt weakness.  It isnt failing.  Its just being human.  One who is dealing with so much.

For me, its all about not looking too far ahead when im looking for ways to keep going.  Looking ahead just reminds me what is coming.  So i try as much as i can to focus on today.  What can i do today to get me through until tomorrow.  So many days, this is as far as I see life... today.  Because i know i can get through today.  Ill worry about tomorrow when its here.

Does this change anything, nope.  But it makes it easier and reminds me to do what i can to get through the day, maybe even enjoy myself for some of it.  Like you do with you art.  Its thinks like that you need to focus on.  It gives yiu these small rests and will allow you to keep fighting.  You can do this.  You've proven you can.  When it starts to get too much, reach out and let someone lighten that load slightly.  We'll do what we can to help you do that.

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 thankyou. It all just comes down to minute by minute just trying to get through. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get through tonight, I know I've done it before but tonight just feels different. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

It feels different from previous night because they are in the past and tonight is now.  That is the difference.  You made it through all of those, this is just another.  Take in minute by minute if you have to.

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 I'm trying to but it's all getting too much. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

Just do your best to stay calm and focus on now.  Don't think about how you're going to get through the night... just think about right now.  You're here right now.  You're reading this right now.  Right now is not too much because a few minutes or a few hours is a problem for later. 

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 I'm trying to stay calm but right now I've got chest pain and I'm contemplating calling 000. I've been trying to let it settle but it's been there since 9.10pm and it's gotten worse. I just want a break from things happening to me. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

Trust yourself.  You have gotten yourself through all of this so trust that you know what to do.  If you have chest pain and you're thinking you need to call 000 then that is the right call.  They'll even tell you themselves.... better safe than sorry.