The Art of Reframing - Back by popular demand!

[tyme]

Lol @Glisten  - Love it! Chocolate or "Do you want a lolly?"

@Shaz51 , 

Reframe: "Yes, problems may feel like they come in threes but so can the things that go right"

[Healandlove]

@Glisten @tyme @Shaz51 @Captain24 @Former-Member ,

@Glisten that's awesome.  I would also add all the good things you are doing as a good parent.  Just asking yourself that question makes you a good parent because you have the awareness to ask it and find new ways to communicate with your children. I have to remind myself of this one.

@Former-Member great example!

[Shaz51]

Good question @Healandlove 

I am the only child and was mentally  and emotionally abused by my father until mum and I left 

Always tried to connect with my father throughout my life but was rejected all the time until his death 

All my sister inlaw and mother inlaw are all very negative,  so if I say something to any of them , they gain up on my husband,  their brother 

@tyme 

[Healandlove]

@Dimity , love this! ❤️ 

[Glisten]

@Shaz51 & @tyme I got curious about the Bad Luck of 3s superstition and I found this:”One explanation lies in our innate desire for certainty and pattern recognition. By attributing a limit of three to a string of bad luck, we create a sense of closure and control. It provides a psychological comfort, allowing us to believe that the streak of misfortune will soon come to an end.”

https://people.howstuffworks.com/bad-luck-comes-in-3.htm#:~:text=The%20belief%20that%20bad%20luck,ab.... 

[Healandlove]

@Dimity Love this! ❤️ 

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 I am so sorry for your experience growing up. I completely understand the need to feel accepted. I am sorry that your acquired family can't be supportive. It's hard for people like us that want connections to feel rejected. I am learning that we don't choose our families and that I need to channel my energy and love towards those whoe really appreciate it. I think reframing will really help me towards understanding others behaviours whilst still keeping my boundaries.  Hugs to you and your husband.

[tyme]

But you know what @Shaz51 ?

If someone is negative, I believe they draw negativity to themselves. In the end, they are the ones that come out with a negative mindset. It is sometimes so sad to see people always so negative because I feel they must be very sad people deep down. Do you think so?

And as people get older, if you don't win people by love, you end up being alone... I used to visit nursing homes to talk to the elderly, and you can see such a huge difference between those that are grateful and those who seem to have forgotten what gratefulness is.

I hope this is not triggering to anyone. I will edit it if it is.

[Glisten]

@Healandlove  Absolutely 👍🏼 

[Captain24]

So are you saying that I bring the negativity on myself @tyme. That I’m just a sad person? 

Also, I’m not loveable (which I know) so that’s why I’ll be alone?