Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Awww @kiki ..... that's gorgeous ..... and what a turn around from your earlier post ..... I can relate .... we end up on the rollercoaster with them ....

My hubby is not in that mind space yet, but reading recovery stories it's pretty clear that when they come out of denial about their condition, those like my husband are very grateful that you were compassionate and worked with the situation to try to keep them in your life ..... not sure my hubby would have stuck around for me if our roles were reversed, but I would like to think so ....

[kiki]

yes it is such a roller coaster!!! totally, we are strapped in there behind the safety bar together 🌞
mr kiki has said he isnt sure if he could be so supportive of roles were reversed. he is very honest which i find helpful. i had a really awful incident at work recently though and he was great.. and his neurotesting lady is sending him her recommemdations of psychs i can see to help me deal with him and the whole situation.
i hope your hubby has some uptimes asap, for both of you! and i know he is very luck to have you and your support. lets just take a moment to pat ourselves on the back ☺🌹🌺🌸🍀

[Shaz51]

Awww @kiki,

It sounds like he can tell you things which is great , communication is very important

at the beginning my hubby used to keep things inside until BANG, he would let it all out but by then I couldn`t work out what was really bothering him

then I told him, to tell me early what is upsetting him , so we can fix it instead of him going over it in his head for days

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @kiki

Golly, @Faith-and-Hope and @Shaz51 sre so there saying.....yes,yes.....this is hard. When I first joined Sane Forums, I had a restaining order on my husband .....we got married, his drug and alcohol use was out of control and trying to quit.....there was like this big black hole in the system....He was falling in it and all of a sudden....I was begging and begging hospitals to take him in.....anyway....two years later, he quit everything himself and wrote me a letter. We stayed friends for a year and we are back together again. 

He's just amazing. Was diagnosed Chronic ( all the time) paranoid schizophrenia at 21 years old. We are both 49 years old......went to high school together. Been married for about 5 years. 

The important thing I can see about your story is that your partner wants to help himself with YOU in the picture. About sex.......whats that? lol....I have sex about 2-4 times per year. , we should start a thread about this. 

 Hello @kiki this is a picture of my dog called Arlo. 

PP

[Shaz51]

Hello @kiki

 how are you today xx'

[kiki]

arlo is beautiful!!!!! 😊 wow that is an amazing and inspiring relationship. thank you!!!! 💙💙💙

[kiki]

hi shaz,
i am ok...a bit confused and unsure but ok! mr kiki just had to ignore me for a couple of days which i find very hard. and now its too hot for me to hug him !!! i feel like i am unsure of our relationship he is very upfront about being unable to emotionally support me at all but still i would love that in a partner. i feel like i could not abandon him! we discussed kind of hypothetical breaking up....he really does not want to burden me. my sister died a few months ago too which makes it all worse. he said he would be happy for us to still live together as flatmates, we have our own rooms anyway. or to even have a relationship break. it was awful but good to go next level honesty i spose. but geez i have a terrible tummy ache now!! xoxxoxoxox

[Faith-and-Hope]

@kiki

it is hard.  My WH and I have sort of fallen into that space by default at the moment ....  his denial and full-on daily regimen is not relationship friendly, and his body concept has left me feeling totally displaced from his intimacy .... not to mention the effects on his own body.  

All I can say is that life doesn't remain the same ... it doesn't remain static, so even if the two of you don't change anything deliberately, changes will occur in your circumstances anyway.  Maybe defer any decision for now and take stock in another three months, six months, nine months, and twelve months.  A bit like taking measurements, you can rate things like conversation, intimacy, counselling frequency, changes in medication, etc at these points in time so you have something to check back on and compare.  It will show you what changes have taken place and progress made.

Take care ....

🌷💜

[Tiggeroo]

Heya guys!
Kiki it sounds like you and I are living parallel lives! My partner (let's call him Mr Tiggeroo) has just been through diagnosis again as we were not sure his medications were right but alas we are reconfirmed at Bipolar. He had a 2 hour assessment, we paid $500 and got about $390 back from Medicare if that helps! Mr T is also the absolute love of my life, I am so lucky he is usually very open to his treatment, he goes to a clinical psych regularly and takes his meds without being forced by me haha!
Me and Mr T were travelling along fairly well, then in September we fell down a massive hole and it has taken us quite some time to regroup and get back on track, (which is why I have been missing from the forums!) but I'm back woohoo! You will find so many amazing people here on the forums with so much helpful advice and a willingness to share personal experience which really helps you to feel like you are not alone!
I am glad you found us, welcome and I look forward to chatting more in future!
xx
Tigz

[kiki]

sorry about weird random symbols and letters, i had to change a few drug names and it just happened xoxoxo