loneliness and the future

[PengTing]

Hey new here, I've struggled with feelings of loneliness for the last couple years and it can make it kind of difficult to have hope for the future or that things will get better. I've kind put all my eggs in the have a career and not focus on the sadness basket 😅.  While I've come a long and am able to deal with this a lot better nowadays, it can weigh heavily on some days, so I was curious, what do yall do to manage this feeling if it arises for you 🤔.

[tyme]

Hey @PengTing ,

Certainly not an uncommon theme here on the forums!

I used to feel very lonely. I was around people constantly but really struggled with my mental health. This was one of the loneliest times because I felt that despite having all these people around, no one 'gets it'.

Nowadays, I can pretty much say things are pretty good. I live alone, I'm absorbed in numerous things (I guess my eggs are all in different baskets?), get to work early in the morning and don't finish until late at night... yet I'm not lonely at all. I feel somewhat 'content'. I feel like another 10 years of this, and I'm set to retire and do something else.

I feel I've got an energy now that I never had before. When I'm feeling heavy and low, I give myself space but I don't stay away from connecting with people e.g. on these forums. 

These forums have been a life saver for me. I used to hold all the pain in, but now, I can share it here - anonymously. It has really helped me to let go and to also reflect on my own thinking and actions.

I look forward to hearing from you. I gotta go now, but please tag me in so I don't miss your posts. You can do this by typing "@" in front of my name e.g. @tyme 

[PengTing]

Thanks for sharing, it's insightful to read. It's kinda funny in a world so connected humans have never felt lonely. It sounds like you've got a good routine going, I've only developed a decent in the last couple months, thou I can agree with having an energy I didn't have before. A lot of that has translated towards my uni studies and wanting to finish and progress that, fingers crossed. It's good to hear you've got a plan sorted for your future. I think that's important, when I get too absorbed by the loneliness I sometimes forget that. @tyme Take it easy

[tyme]

Hey @PengTing ,

How are you today??

[PengTing]

Hey, yeah not too bad. Dropped off grandma to the airport which was a little sad. Spent time with mum. Cooking steal for dinner tonight, so can't complain. Just mulling over future choices regarding my psych course pathways. What about you? @tyme 

[tyme]

Nice @PengTing . Have you finished the psych degree?

[PengTing]

Nah I'm in my second year, plan to finish bachelor's this year and do honours next year.. ultimately trying to get into honours @tyme 

[tyme]

Nice @PengTing ! I've completed my bach in psych, but I can't say I enjoyed it. It was too um.... medicalised and deficit focused in my opinion... I wanted to work more with therapeutic relationships, so I moved to counselling and peer work instead. We are all different though. Some people love the psych stuff. 

Sounds interesting though 🙂

[PengTing]

Nice , yea I agree the bach is lots studying psych as a science , since  my current plan is to become a psychologist, I hope to learn that in the masters. I'll go into social if I can't get into it @tyme 

[tyme]

Sounds great @PengTing . It's so so helpful to get into the space whilst you are studying. e.g. a forums space. Lived experience is powerful.

@Oaktree created this group you may be interested in 2025 - study group