Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Koa]

Hello,

I'm seeking some advice RE my husband. He was diagnosed with PTSD 12 months ago after witnessing a horrific accident (fatality) Case still not over and he's the key witness in the investigation.

Since then life has spiralled out of control, he's was sent to numerous GP's and psychologists who misdiagnosed him. He was suicidal and turned to some not so conventional treatments.

He suffers from flash backs, nightmares, anxiety/panic attacks and OCD ever since. Nightmares are 3 difference scenarios surrounding the accident. He cries and talks in his sleep as it's happening and when he wakes he thinks he's at the scene or in the car with the deceased. He can hear, see and smell everything from that morning.

He no longer watches tv, reads the newspapers as reading/seeing accident reports in the media triggers him. Just last night I picked him up after he was lost and confused whilst at work after hearing of an attempted suicide from a gentleman with PTSD. He too has been saying a lot over the last few days that he's tired of it and I don't deserve to suffer with him etc and wants to end his life.

After picking him up last night he was very confused and almost in an out of body state. I got him in the shower and put music on as I usually do for him as it settles him but last night he panicked because he didn't know who I was. He was crying saying "who are you?" I've never seen him like that. I ended up in the shower in my clothes washing him so I could get him out. Once he was out he was shaking and still disorientated. Took maybe 30 mins before he started to become familiar with his surroundings then he was baffled as to how he got home and who picked him up etc.

Usually we do grounding techniques and breathing exercises which always works when he's having flash backs, nightmares or anxiety attacks but last night was different.

I'm so lost as to what to do or where to go for help. I fear every single day that he won't come home. He is seeing a psychologist fortnightly and on antidepressants.

I just want to take this away from him 😟

[Former-Member]

Hi @Koa, kitkat16 here, one of the moderators. 

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time and thank you for your courage in reaching out on this forum.  

From what I read it sounds like your husband is very unwell at the moment, it is good to hear he is seeing a psychologist and a medical profesional. 

The situation you described where your husband became very disorientated sounds very distressing for you both .  Are you comfortable and able to call 000 or the mental health triage number in your area if a similar situation happens again? This may help your husband and yourself access some immediate support and possibly access treatment from your closest hospital. It does not sound like he is safe right now and that is a lot for you to take on just on your own. 

I am wondering what the expected date for the investigation is to be over by and if they have set up any support for your husband? It may be worth asking questions as to who you can speak too about the toll it is having on your husband.  I don't imagine it can be helpful for him to have this drawn out much longer and may make his recovery all the more difficult.

I am also wondering what support you have in place for yourself during this time?

Some useful numbers for both you and your husband could be

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Mensline: 1300 78 99 78 - online counselling is also available

Suicidehelpline: 1300 651 251

And as mentioned 000 for immediate help

Thank you again for sharing your story with the forums and please continue to do so. 

Take care

Kitkat16

[Pridesmum]

I am not trained in any way regarding mental health issues but. Would think that with that level of dis orientation and distress may be he needs to be in hospital so that professionals can witness this. It is really tough I know..  if he is in danger of hurting himself  hospital would Lao be the best place for him. Do you attend doc appointments with him? Is he telling docs how bad he is?

good luck..take care

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Koa

It sounds like this is very distressing for you husband, and quite stressful for you too.

To add to the great advice that @Pridesmum @Former-Member have given, does your husband have a good relationship with his psych? You mentioned that he has seen several and had multiple misdiagnosis, so I was wondering if he was still seeing anyone? If he is, it might be worth contacting them and letting them know about what's been happening. That probably won't be able to share details about your husband's treatment, but it can be useful for them to know. 

You may also want to consider getting some support for yourself. Caring for others can impact on your own mental health too - which neither good for you or your partner. Be sure to look after yourself. Do you have friends/family that you can speak with?

CB

[Lunar]

Hello @Koa,

How are things going lately with yourself and your partner? I hope he has been able to get some extra support as things sounded quite bad as of late as he was dissasociating and having some suicide thoughts, this all sounds extremely difficult for the both of you.

Have you been able to get yourself some extra support from a counsellor or psychologist?

You could also contact Carers Australia or Mental Health Carers for some extra support for yourself, they run support programs, a helpline and have other resources that may be able to help:

Carers Australia

1800 242 636

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/

Mental Health Carers Australia

1300 554 660

http://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/

Hope you are taking extra good care of yourself,

Lunar