Fragile

[Dimity]

Sinead was  remarkable @Appleblossom .

You said "Just having to face my family is the way it is. My life is the way it has been." Yep same here but it still hurts. 

Glad you're gardening for your physio - mutual benefit. 

The other day I heard a list of desiderata for gardens for pollinators. Our common garden used to tick just about all the boxes. 

Hope your choir practice tonight is restorative and the people are kind.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom boundaries are helping, i hope? To carve out a space? How was ur choir and how is the garden going at the physio? Your family sounds painful and i am sorry. you have my support 🤍❣️🌻

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity @EternalFlower 

It was good to sing.  The lady next to me was friendly, done a few things with her, she has a great voice and it was lovely being with her.  The conductor had upset me during last set of rehearsals, and somehow I have gone through a transition, re assertion, and not taking stuff in silence. I cracked a couple jokes, and told him he was human, but also caught him out on booboos.  Guess I feel I am getting some respect there, and can be just me.  He was trying to be funny too ... but he is like me ... really bad dad jokes.  The work is very serious and high brow .. Mahler.  So all that is pretty fantastic progress.  Lifting my mood.  Getting used to my new car, which had stressed me a bit in last month, but feeling relaxed with it at last.

Honestly the plumbing job was signed off, but not finished as still a leak ... but they are onto it.

Then I got a flat tyre on the new 2nd hand car. SO lots going on.

The physio garden, has helped me and them.  I feel llike I have earned respect at the clinic and not just a madwoman on NDIS, which was a bit how I felt after a year on NDIS.  I have had to rejiggle how I sit with it all ... and let the CHOICE and CONTROL mantra ring true.

Yoga and flow

Maybe I will get back to yoga soon.  Maybe I expect too much of myself.

[EternalFlower]

Nice picture @Appleblossom 

It looks magical

Hear u re stigma of ndis participation. Always good to remember we get to choose. 

Hope u are feeling okay today

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower I just liked the pic ... cos strong girl greenie feel ... and we do warrior poses in yoga.

Much better today, answered you on other thread.

Cheers and thanks for caring.

[Appleblossom]

Reading Nonviolent Communication by M Rosenberg with mixed feelings...

then saw this article ... it is for the privileged ... exactly what I felt.

https://www.collectivelyfree.org/nonviolent-communication-privileged/ 

[EternalFlower]

I think it was recommended to me before....but maybe thinking of something else

Lots of mh treatments are for privileged people

It doesnt work if u are coning at it already vulnerable, imo.

I hope u are enjoying ur weekend somewhere nice

Sorry to hear about the flat tire and the delays with fixing plumbing. Can be hard to catch a break sometimes

[Appleblossom]

Hugs for saying hello @EternalFlower 

Posting this because she keeps coming up on my feed and I am such a dag ... it is one of my favourite songs ... stone the crows ... better not post it on the Everything music thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBoRf2ik1ec 

[Appleblossom]

I really like this psychiatrist's analysis regarding the healthy boundary fashion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqwjBEf3znc 

I have tried it and researched a lot, and not really convinced about the boundary conversation.  I do believe it is about unequal power. 

Vulnerability ... 

Good News: Met a decent gp today after I responded to a computer generated request to attend clinic.  I am done with the old one, she has really upset me and I kept forgiving and doing rupture and repair, but yes she had the power.  

[Appleblossom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7u6gkAGbeM 

Trauma catches up in 30s.  Boy did that happen for me.

I then accumulated a sleep debt.

Functional Freeze ... seems very relevant ... all the way through ... even more than body exhaustion, weariness or 'depression'.

It has never felt like masking, far more deep and necessary for me to manage my stress internally and yet keep going regardless of how I felt.