Despondent

[Lollipops]

I am feeling totally useless. I have been a highly motivated person most of my life. I am older now and at a time of my life I should be out and about and doing things. I have hardly gotten dressed for weeks sit around watching TV all day in my dressing gown. I have really given up . Just can't seem to rise above this. What can I do. My antidepressants do nothing anymore. Spoke to my GP and she just increased  my dose. 

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Lollipops 

It sounds like this has been a very difficult few weeks for you. I hear that everything is feeling like an effort right now, so I'm really glad that you've been able to reach out here

It's great that you have spoken to your GP when you felt your antidepressants weren't working, though it sounds as if you haven't noticed a difference with the increased dose?

Do you have any other supports aside from this who you've been able to speak to about what you're going through?

[Lollipops]

Thanks for your reply. I do have a long history of depression.I feel  The drugs I am on have lost effect .  No improvement with increased dose. I am very much alone with no support . No one to talk with. I have applied to SANE  for their help program and hope I will get a response. Lots of trauma and stress has gone  on in my life . 

[Explorer7]

I never tried it but I've heard that Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) helps some people for whom antidepressant medication isn't effective. I never heard of TMS when I was clinically depressed but I learned about it recently as there was a new TMS facility next to the psychiatrist rooms that I attended recently, about 45 minutes away from where I live. I'm longer depressed (thank God) and was visiting my psychiatrist for a check up.

When I was depressed, the only thing that provided me with instant, albeit temporary, relief was the opportunity to speak with and listen to someone else, in person, on a topic of interest. I also started volunteering at Lifeline (who provide excellent training), and I found that being on the phones was therapeutic. At the end of a shift, I also gained the impression of "there but for the grace of God, go I" compared to the travails of some of the callers.

I also got some temporary relief from my depression symptoms by listening to a Jon Kabat-Zinn mindfulness app, on my phone.

I didn't know it at the time, and I don't know how I'd go now, since I can now recognise the symptoms of pre-depression and ward them off. That said, it is possible to do things in spite of the black dog. The dog is always there, sapping your motivation, in my experience.

When I was volunteering at Lifeline, I saw this picture:

The first two steps resonated with me from when I was depressed. What kept me going was hope and my love for family, and the small things like seeking treatment (psychological and medical), mindfulness, and volunteering. I didn't do so at the time but I'd now suggest finding a depression self-help group. Misery loves company, and you get to hear from other folks as to what's worked for them. and it gives you an excuse to get dressed.

[Ru-bee]

Good on you for taking that step @Lollipops I hope you hear back soon, let us know how you go

[MissMuffet]

I can vouch for TMS. I had a course of it last year, after a very long struggle with medications no longer being effective nor psychology having much of an impact on the general depression (it helped in other aspects but not the dysthymia). Anyway, it took about 3 months to see a real difference but I noticed a huge change after the TMS. I have since been through a very traumatic life experience which I never before would have coped with, but amazingly have been able to.

For me TMS made a huge difference to my mental health. There is still so much I'd like to be able to achieve (I still struggle to be as "productive" as everyone else seems to be) but I have more good days than bad and I no longer feel that suffocating black cloud over everything. It's really only been since being through challenging situations that I can see how far I've come. 

If TMS is something you may be able to get access to, all I can say is give it a try. 

[Lollipops]

This sounds very scary . How do you access it ? 

[MermaidHair]

Hey @Lollipops,

I'm hearing you about this feeling of despondency you describe, I have been there. Being in depression and isolation can be like groundhog day and despite the not much that happens, it can be extremely exhausting and overwhelming. It's no wonder you feel demotivated and at a loss, it is such a draining thing to go through.

I'm really glad to hear you've been in communication with your GP about meds, what you're going through and that you've reached out to SANE too. These are all fantastic steps in the right direction as well as being here. 

You mentioned you've always been a highly motivated person and should be out and about doing things so I am curious, if you weren't going through this rough patch right now, what kind of things would you like to be doing? 

💜

[Lollipops]

Unfortunately I asked my Dr if I could go see a psychologist or psyciatrist  and she just fobbed me off saying they are too hard to get into. And just increased my meds which I did not do. Honestly I have been on the same meds  up and down for years I increase it if I know I am feeling low. She seems to be just a script dispenser.  She is a fairly new Dr. I havent been this low for many years .I know I need to talk and get some therapy but I gave up on that too thinking I will just live with it . But I am 68 and not that old I guess. There are things going on in my family too that I am struggling to deal with . Makes me feel like I don't want to go on any longer. 

[Explorer7]

When I was looking for a psychologist I thought it would take a while, and ringing around that was the impression I got. However I found a government psychologist who was also working privately on Saturday’s and got in to see him in a week. For a psychiatrist I was looking at three months minimum, unit I found a specialist centre just over the border, with three psychiatrists and managed to see one of these real soon. It’s not a question for your GP to decide it’s too hard. Ring around and start asking questions, or see another GP.

Another option is to see a psychotherapist. They can be easier to find

I’d be pleased to hear your life story @Lollipops especially given you said you used to be highly motivated.

If you feel like you don't want to go on any longer Lifeline is only a phone call away 13 11 14.