Feeling Stuck in a Casual Relationship – How Do I Get Out?

[Theblueowl]

Hey everyone,

I’m in a casual relationship with someone, and while I agreed to it at first, I’m starting to feel stuck. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want anything more, and since it’s an open arrangement, he’s also seeing other girls. I know this was the deal from the start, but I’m realizing that it’s no longer working for me.

The problem is, I’m finding it really hard to end things. A big part of it is loneliness—I know that walking away is the right thing to do, but the thought of being completely on my own again is making it difficult. I don’t want to keep holding onto something that’s not fulfilling me, but I also don’t know how to actually let go.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you manage to leave when loneliness kept pulling you back? Would really appreciate any advice or words of encouragement.

Thanks ❤️

[JoeTheLion]

Hi @Theblueowl 

Welcome to the Forum.

Thank you for sharing. We look forward to hearing the Community’s insights and hope you feel supported

All the best

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Theblueowl and welcome to the forums

This is a really hard place to be in, it's never easy walking away from a relationship, even a casual one. I know I've stayed in some which were long past their expiration date because I didn't want to lose the company and comfort of the other person. When I look back at these times I wish that I'd ended it much sooner as it would have saved me more pain in the long run, a bit like ripping off the bandaid: it's scary to do and hurts in the moment, but it's better than the prolonged pain of slooooowly prying it off.

Considering the loneliness that's keeping you in this relationship, I wonder if you have any friends or family you could reach out and perhaps make extra plans with over this time? Or perhaps you could look into any local groups that relate to your interests or hobbies, like a book club, running club, game meet ups...

It might not be the same sort of connection but maybe it will help the transition.

[Glisten]

Hi 👋🏼 @Theblueowl  I know this and it is hard. 
If you had a better offer, would you take it?
Often it’s the convenience, the momentary thrill of being desired, the occasional overnighters.

I’m guilty of using the casual thing it to avoid a relationship that requires investment.

I am terrible at following my own advice.

[YungWu]

I dont think theres a simple solution. Its effecting you & not in emotionally healthy way. You might need to build a network of support if you make that jump to leave. To create value for yourself & thus not need him to fill that gap of lonliness. I understand as l used my last relationship to give me value. I have leant towards joining activities & social groups to lessen the isolated feeling. I have been chatting to lifeline & its alleviated some of my anguish. You are talking about how you feel so you are no longer alone, small steps to making changes.