Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

@TBH 

This is another discussion thread that may be of help to you 

[Kokokaz]

Hi, I'm new here, and signed up because I'm finding self-care very difficult, mainly because my husband acts as if I'm leaving him if I say I want to go to a retreat for 2 nights.

Hubby has well managed schizophrenia, with depression and anxiety. Excellent drs for many years, diagnosed aporox17 years ago. 

He can't work, but does look after his 80 year old mum. I've run my own business for the last 3 years and went on a retreat in March (right before Covid) as I felt that everything was getting on top of me.  I raised going again in the next few months this evening and he said "go, just leave me alone for the weekend" and got very upset.

He acts as if I am.never coming back anytime I leave the house, texts me constantly during the day when I'm at work, and I'm.just exhausted. 

He doesn't have any friends, and I don't haveany either - just work mates. So socially we're quite isolated.

Mainly here to vent and see if anyone else has similar issues?

K

[Former-Member]

@Kokokaz I don't have experience with ongoing phone calls that comes with the territory of Sz but my hubby at times would say "go and have a good time without me", now I make light of this and will smile and say "I will Darling" .

Having said that I have lightened up on a lot of things, being intentional about starting the day giving him a hug and a kiss and ignoring any negativity from him.  

[Former-Member]

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @Kokokaz  how are you going today 

@Former-Member , @Adge , @Posie1 xx

[Adge]

Hi @Shaz51 How are you?

How is your Self-Care going - Progress to Report?

I went to Yoga class today - I'm doing 2 Yoga Classes per week again (for the past 5 weeks), plus an over 50's Aerobics class.

So yes that's Self-Care (seems to help) - even when feeling like collapsing from exhaustion, during class.

Adge

[Adge]

To me - seeing Psychologist (Therapy) has always been a major part of my Self-Care Strategy.

Yes Self-Care has to be done on one's own (at home), independently as well.

I learnt most of my Self-Care strategies with psychologist - & reading lots, as well.

For long-term Trauma (& Complex PTSD) people, like myself - Therapy (or seeing a Psychologist) is especially important & helpful.

Especially when relatives & family members were the source (cause) of most of the trauma - so relatives cannot be turned to for support.

My Psych attributes my lack of Self-Harm (never done that) & lack of Suicide attempts - to my determination to work on the issues (through Therapy).

Apparently I am rare (very unusual) in that - as a long-term Trauma survivor.

I just get so frustrated at not having made more progress - yet I have made heaps of progress, it's just that I don't see it.

Adge

[Shaz51]

very interesting @Former-Member 

Hello @Adge , @Tortoiseshell , @Kokokaz , @Posie1 

[Adge]

Oh "Self-Indulgence" @Shaz51 Nice - Yes need some of that.

It's fine & healthy in Small Doses - Longer-lasting Self-Care strategies are perhaps Better....

Adg

[Former-Member]

Mr Darcy & I have booked in for a  massage this week. As it is for 1 hour each it is a bit $$ but I might try and look for something a little more affordable to see if we can make it a regular thing.