Lived Experience Forum

[notdeadyet]

Hi everyone. apologies in advance for the long introduction...

I'm not sure how to do this without identifying myself, i'll try my best!

About 5 years ago I had a mental breakdown, followed by regular panic attacks (and emergency visits) for about 4 months. I started using weed and nitrous oxide for the first time in my life, and drank a lot of alcohol. Thankfully the whole experience scared me enough to see the path I was on and I took drastic action to get away from my new found vices. As part of my recovery (and when I was well enough) I did a fundraising challenge for beyondblue and raised almost $10,000. I had to cut my challenge short due to many reasons including covid. since then I have found myself in a string of bad relationships, two of which became physically violent towards me (I'm a guy, and yes it does happen sometimes). after the last relationship ended I went on a 6 day nitrous oxide bender and exprienced terrifying psychosis. I was arrested during this time. I've never been in trouble with the law before. I'm now nitrous and psychosis free after being on antipsychotics for about a year. Unfortunately I was a bit vocal on facebook and they booted me off permanently. This was a big blow because I ran a mental health page with almost 20,000 followers. I'm only now hopeful of a reasonable future and I really want to finish my challenge after I finish serving a corrections order (I plead guilty, but was not convicted). What advice could you give to someone like me? I was just getting my life back together when the psychosis happended. I still have occasional paranoia and distressing thoughts. I'm not suicidal, but I'm not exactly happy either. I want to rekindle my passion for life and finish what I started but I'm very worried about putting myself out there publicly again in case the arrest comes to bite me. I need to do something with my life.

[ClockFace]

@notdeadyet 

I cant say much about the challenge, I would expect you would need some legal advise. From the publics point of view, be open about it but yoou're gonna have some people who have a problem with it and some who wont.

Being vocal on FB normally doesnt get you booted, repeatedly breaking a rule would. Along with your other concerns I would definately look into a psychologist and if you dont have one maybe a psychiatrist.

I had a Brief Psychotic Episode in 2013, I recovered but would have halluciniations pretty regularly. I went through alcohol rehab in 2021 at the end my psychiatrist I was seeing for this finished up as he had done his job. I didnt go and see a new one as they are so hard to get into. I started to look at online services and just recently while waiting for an appointment I had a psychotic break (according to my psychologist)

While you have recovered from one and are taking some right steps be mindful that others are potentially around the corner and can be triggered by stress

[notdeadyet]

Thanks for the reply. I’m very vigilant and would seek help as soon as I felt not well, but I feel about 90% most days. 
As for Facebook, I guess it depends on what you’re vocal about. For simplicity I omitted the fact that my account was also hacked. Perhaps it’s paranoia, but I can’t help think that I said the ‘wrong things’ and the hack drew their attention to some of my comments over the years. I thought I was just telling my story. Anyway, I’m glad this service exists. I hope you continue in good health!

[tyme]

Welcome @notdeadyet !