Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Partner1]

Hello I’m very new to this wasn’t sure where to go I’m living with my partner of 6 1/2 years whose been dealing with alcohol and drugs off and on I’m struggling a bit at the moment as I’m at a stand steal with my partner who I love to bits but struggling to communicate I’m trying to be understanding and give him space but his isolating himself and not working. I get frustrated at times with his abuse of alcohol and not understanding the effect it has on my and me too not understanding why he has a disease with alcohol. I miss my partner when his sober we have fun, talk and he smiles. These days im

lucky to get a kiss or sit down and have dinner together. I get tired of not knowing how to help and trying to be there but he get defensive and says I don’t understand why he drinks yet he doesn’t explain it to me. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Partner1 . It sounds like a hard situation. I see it as living with alcoholics, drug users, gamblers and in my case helping someone who is very kind and open to being scammed. Someone told me one of the ingredients in helping others is "frustration" I feel your frustration. And sadly the ones we help do not often see the way we help. So I hope you find an interest to take your mind off things occasionally. Sometimes we get so deep, the one we help functions and sleeps and we, the helpers battle. We need to surrender what we cannot change and focus on what we can change. Sometimes we need to change out attitude, as hard as it is because others do not change to suit us for whatever reason. We never really know their thoughts. Good luck. Find a group with a different interest. I joined a church. Best thing I ever did.