Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

[Gabstar]

Hi Everyone @

I'm new here and bit nervous tbh!

I don't normally do this but have nowhere else to turn as this year has been the most difficult I've had.

I suffer from depression, over load explosion and high anxiety in general, but these past few mths I have now been getting panic attacks as well.

I lost my job of 9yrs, still stuck in why and have so much anger hurt and humiliation from this. My 12yr old son who suffers from ADHD, ODD and high anxiety  has just been expelled from last term of yr 6. Also hitting me with his suicide thoughts which has broken my heart as he a softy and its because ppl pick on him and he has no friends! 

I've just very recently come from a friendship/relationship thing of 6yrs and I am absolutely destroyed from. He being a gaslighter, manipulator and a narcissist has really done a number on me right to the end and Iost everything.

On top of a mother who is also the same and been in middle of their war against each other.

As I write this I am shaking with tears rolling down my face broken.

I honestly can't see a clear path anymore and I'm terrified I will never come back out this time.

Has  anyone gotten out of similar situation and bounced back???

[tyme]

Hi there @Gabstar @Terri1,

Welcome to the forums. It's great to have you with us.

As I read your posts, I consider how different our life journeys are, yet we can collectively come together to support each other.

@Gabstar , I hear how hard it is for you right now. 

@Terri1 , glad you have found us. 

How are you both going today?

[MJG017]

Hi @Terri1, welcome to the group.  I had a similar time at the start of the year.  I become so depressed that I just sort of 'shut down'.  I did nothing and had no interest in anything.  It took time and effort and I still struggle a lot, but i'm in a much better place and feel like I have supports in place should that start to happen again.  The main reason for that was places like this forum.  I hope you find a similar benefit.

[MJG017]

Hi @Gabstar, welcome to the group.  This year has been the worst of my life as well, for very different reasons.  At least it started that way and made me to do things that I never would have done before.  I joined some support groups, this being one and slowly started to improved things as I felt I had people to talk to who understood how hard it can be.

You've certainly had and incredibly difficult time with so many different things.  For me, I just needed to reach out and find some support.  I got to the point where I had no idea what to do.  Talking to people who understood just helped me more than anything else I tried so I stuck with that.

There is always a way forward, but I think we get so lost in all these different stresses and problems and everything just seems to keep piling on.  You need to take care of yourself and get as much support around you and your son as you can.  Just focus on that for now.  I know there are other issues but its too hard to try to fix everything at once.  It will take time as this is never a quick fix but with the right supports you will start to see ways out of this again.  We're here to help you and support however we can.  Hopefully you find it as helpful here as I did.

[Gabstar]

Thank you! I am trying to get help but everywhere I turn nothing. My GP nothing, Narcissist group nothing. So having someone comment I was very surprised and I thank you! I don't have anyone here as my mum is misible and looks down at me and if I talk to her she uses against me later on. I have now come down with flu and kidney infection from shutting down not drinking eating properly. Are you goin ok now?

[Gabstar]

Thank you, I've come down with flu and kidney infection from all the over whelming stress. 

I'm angry I have slept all day again and wasting my life doing so.

Wake up to none stop msgs of nasty crap and then 180 he needs help then nasty again. I finding it extremely exhausting and I want to help him but sick of being the blame for everything. Own it, apologise and move on but I'm the one that ends up apologising for nothing. I adored him and still do but he gotta stop going me. He won't let me just walk away 

[Academica]

Hi @Gabstar, 

Sounds like you are dealing with some hard times. I hope you are finding the forums to be a good place to express yourself and feel supported. 

It may also be relevant to have someone to talk about this stuff, so here are some services that may be useful:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Samaritans: 135 247 

[Gabstar]

Thank you, I feel awful as I know there are worse ppl the me! And hate the attention but same time feel so alone.

I will use these thank you

[MJG017]

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@Gabstar wrote:

Thank you, I feel awful as I know there are worse ppl the me! And hate the attention but same time feel so alone.

I will use these thank you

---

@GabstarI know what you mean, I do that a lot and feel like im taking valuable time and attention away from people who need it more. I have to keep reminding myself that there's is always someone worse off, so if only people who were actually worse off than everyone else used these services then they'd have little to no calls.  I still do it with a lot of things, even support groups, and still usually feel uncomfortable when I do do it, but it's getting easier as I use more and more services and learn they they are all very willing to help me.

I'm sorry to hear about your flu and kidney infection. It sounds like you need a new GP.  My partner had to change GPs a couple of years ago, because she had a scratch on her head that was painful and her GP just gave her some antibiotics and said it will be fine.  Turned out she was put in hospital with a very serious type of infection which they said ws potentially lethal if left untreated.  Then later that year, went in again about a sore foot and told to wear a moon boot for a week and it will be fine.  A bit more skeptical of the GP this time she went to a specialist and discovered she had something called charcot.  Fortunately it was early but still had to wear a special boot to take all the weight off the foot for 6 months!  Fortunately because it was discovered early she didn't have permanent damage to the bones in her foot.  So don't be afraid to change GPs if you feel like your current one isn't helping you.

[Annette11]

Hi Eyad, hope you're feeling better. You should listen to your doctor and if prescribed any medication discuss the implications with him/her. Agree I don't usually join forums but appreciate that we all need a safe space to speak.

You can't overlook yourself as it will only have a negative effect on your wife and family.

Be kind to yourself, we are so keen to please others we forgot about the simple things that make us happy. Suggest writing down at the start of the weekend what you would like to do as opposed to what you need to do. We are always so caught up with the superfluous of life, we forgot what is really important. Take care and appreciate the little things