@Ybother
Hi Artist
The words you use, refer to your feelings and beliefs. I understand, when you use strong words, such as “underhanded, snide, cowardly, and manipulative.” I would certainly not suggest anything else, when those words are all valid when they reflect how you feel.
Something that I am pleased about, is that you also feel comfortable acknowledging that “there are many nice people” around. The Salvation Army girls are a very prominent example.
Also that you are recognising the effects of the traumatic events that you have experienced. Those feelings, and the physical expression of feelings, take time to deal with. I believe that we can deal with the effects of trauma and traumatic events, and by doing so, we become stronger. That journey, however, is not always pleasant, in fact, as most of us know, it can be quite difficult.
I am at present working at dealing with the effects of loss and grief. The reason for my feelings really will not, and cannot change – I cannot go back in time to change those events. But I can deal with my feelings, and how I use those feelings to bring good into my life, and hopefully share that journey with others as well.
Peonies { @Former-Member } has said “please know that we are all here to support you on the Forums and let this be a safe space for you to share your experiences (within our guidelines) and receive support from peers”. Those peers are all people who, while they might each have had different experiences, have often felt the same ways that you and I have felt at various times. They and we are each at different stages in our 'journeys'. But we all want to give and receive support, comfort and positive affirmation to each other.
Riding my bicycle is one thing that I should be doing more of. Exercise not only gives us a distraction from other mental or physical pain, it can help us to deal better with our situation. So I am not surprised that riding your bike has positive effects for you, even if it is mainly apparent in the distraction of feeling the pain in your legs.
My strongest and fondest wish for you is to find a way of being “able to actually feel comfortable and safe around people again.”
I certainly hope that we on the forum can assist you in achieving that goal.
With Best Wishes
HenryX
