surgery

[-Rayne-]

SH/SI warning (I know not required here but I feel better having said it)

Tomorrow we're having surgery related to SH. This is the fourth time in 2 years. We avoid hospitals like nothing else. Only agree to go when it's actually life threatening and not just some weak-(litigious)-minded doctor's view of life threatening. 

So we know we need to go. It's just so hugely triggering and difficult to be there. Because of the other times.

We had a choice this time of this or another but didn't know how different another place would be in terms of triggers. The last time we were in this one some of the surgeons remembered us from the time before but that could be a good or a bad thing. We can't work out which it was. 

Anyway, tomorrow.

[Queenie]

Thinking of @-Rayne- at a difficult time. I hope the surgery is a success. 

[Former-Member]

Hi there @-Rayne-

That sounds quite hard, I really hope you can take good care of yourself afterwards if you feel like you will be triggered going into surgery, I hope there is something that is calming and relaxing that you can do afterwards to cope.

I feel it may be a good thing it is with the same surgeons as they have that previous knowledge, maybe just reach out for some more support if you feel distressed okay.

Thinking of you,

Lunar

[-Rayne-]

Thanks @Queenie and @Former-Member. They didn't let me go home, which is what I was afraid of. I don't know if I can say why because its medical and graphic but basically they found the damage was more than they thought and there's infection, so they're making me stay at least until the infection is cleared up. I hate this place so much. Too many memories of surgeries and pain and craziness. I wish I could SH like a normal person and not have to go through this. I tried to discharge myself but they threatened MHA and I've been there before so I backed down. Just really un-okay now. Thanks for being here.