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Bipolarbearcare
New Contributor

What to do?? Bipolar 2

Hi all,


My wife has was diagnosed with bipolar2 3 weeks ago and is in a clinic getting help. She keeps pushing me away, telling me I deserve someone better and normal or tells me she’s going to harm herself. It’s really starting to take a toll on me continually reassuring her I’m not going anywhere. I haven’t been sleeping well and am exhausted from a week of looking after the house hold, driving back and forth multiple times a day to her, trying to work etc. 

Last week she lost her grandad who she was incredibly close to, this has set her back. Any progress is now lost. I work FIFO 2:1 and have had to take extra time off and even flown back home after being at work for 4 days.

I don’t know what to say anymore or what to do. 
She’s refusing to work on herself to get better and thinks the medication is the fix. She barely takes part in the classes at the clinic 

 

It’s taking it’s toll on me pretty badly 



4 REPLIES 4

Re: What to do?? Bipolar 2

Hi @Bipolarbearcare 

 

Welcome to the forums. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation right now. I can feel how hurt you are in the way your write and my heart breaks for you. Unfortunately I have no wise words but I really hope other members will offer some support and advice. My good friend has bipolar and she lives well with it after finding the right treatment. There is always hope so hang in there and keep reaching out.

 

Sending warm wishes

Hanami

Re: What to do?? Bipolar 2

Hi @Bipolarbearcare I was wondering if restricting visits to just once a day would give you and your wife both some time. Having a set time for the visit may also help with developing a routine and making things more manageable. 

 

I can also understand your wife's reluctance to take part in groups - I was very resistant to groups when I was very sick - I found it hard enough to just Be with myself and throw in people I did not know would have been unthinkable. It wasn't until I was more stable that I could do that. Having just lost her grandfather would be adding in a whole new level of complexity with the grief. 

 

You are being very supportive but you can only continue to do that by looking after yourself first. Your wife has people around her to help support her but who do you have? Your needs and your health are just as important. We often find we give everything to others and in doing so neglect ourselves ...so I would encourage you to take some time, do what you need to look after you, talk to her treating team to make a plan that helps you both and allow yourself to also sit with all that is going on. It is not just your wife that is needing help and support here.

Re: What to do?? Bipolar 2

hey there @Bipolarbearcare, it's understandable that this is taking a toll ❤️ You are needing to hold a lot right now. 

 

If you're FIFO, I imagine with a changing schedule, it might be difficult to schedule in some support. A lot of folks on here use our drop-in service to get some extra mental health support when they need it. You can access it via webchat, email or a phone call. It could be a useful way to speak to a counsel...

 

And I can hear how frustrating and scary it can feel if a loved one isn't making the progress we'd like. But I know for me, medication was the first step in making me feel "stable" enough to learn other strategies. I can't speak for your wife, only for myself. 

 

Welcome to the forums, and let us know if what's been suggested has been useful ❤️ 

Re: What to do?? Bipolar 2

Thanks for all the replies, 

 

So after today the psych is getting glimpses of BDP as well as bipolar. I don’t know much about BPD. My wife is showing a lot of resentment and betrayal towards me for agreeing with the psych that she needs to stay for another 2 weeks. The fact my wife hasn’t shown she’s taking part in group classes and actually doing things to help herself is telling me she wont be able to function as a wife & mother outside of the clinic. 
She says so many hurtful things directed at me which I know isn’t the real her talking but it’s hard to keep hearing. I’m trying to do things for myself and I will try start seeing someone for my own mental health. 

What are some coping mechanisms I can suggest my wife start doing? 
Sorry if I’m all over the place. It’s been a hectic day and a even more hectic 4 weeks

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