Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Chill1]

My sister has not been diagnosed with a mental illness, but every few years she pulls back from us and gets angry if we ask what’s wrong, then she cuts us off altogether. Sometimes she goes missing, sometimes we get a call from her landlord of whatever place she’s living at because she’s stopped paying rent and won’t answer the door, the lawn is overgrown etc. 

when we use the spare key to see the f she’s actually okay, she’s usually been starving, and her power is cut off.

she tells us she’s under psychic attack because she’s raising the energy of the whole planet and she’s basically saving the world. Eventually she agrees to move in with my mum, starts to get better, an acts like it never happened. 
she never mentions the psychic stuff to doctors because she says she knows they’ll think it’s mental illness.

Then she’ll be “normal” for a few years before it starts again.

Ot started again 3 weeks ago and I just got a call from her real estate saying they can’t contact her. I can’t get out to her house until tomorrow and I’m sick with worry about what we’ll find. I’m also angry at her even though I know I shouldn’t be, because she never lets us talk about it but we always have pick up the pieces/debt/health problems/accomodation. I fell like we’re in a never ending cycle that we can’t get out of. I don’t know what to do. 

[tyme]

Hey @Chill1 ,

I'm hearing how stressful things must be for you.

It sounds like she's really not well and needs support.

Would you consider asking police to do a welfare check on her? It sounds like she may need a trip to the hospital. Yet I hear that she does not want that.

I've seen so many who really need that help and actually don't realise they are needing help when in that space.

I don't want to seem like a bearer of 'bad news'. I just hope she gets the support she needs so that you don't have to find yourself always having to pick up the pieces.

Is she linked in with her area mental health team? 

[Chill1]

Thank you for replying it feels like a relief to tell someone about it. We tried calling the police last time but they said they would probably make things worse. We called the ambulance but she refused to interact with them and they said they couldn’t force it.

she’s not linked into any mental health people because she refuses to. 
I guess it will depend on what she’s like when we get there tomorrow. I’m scared she’ll be sick or worse, I’m scared of her anger (but she’s not violent) and I’m scared for my mum who this takes it’s toll on.Thank you again for the reply, it made me cry with relief to be heard.

[tyme]

When people are unwell, I don't think they know what's good for them @Chill1 . There's times when it's cruel to be kind. 

I've had welfare checks done on me in the past, and they weren't pleasant, yet I'm alive because of them.

If you could just get her to the hospital even once, at least she'd be on the system and you can contact psychiatric triage in your area. They can send the CAT team to her house and they have the authority to see her admitted if they think she's not safe.

It's not easy, but I hear the toll this is having on you and your mum.

Please please take care and reach out if you need support. Maybe do an internet search for your local area to see what the Psychiatric triage number is... they may be able to provide you with more guidance... not sure though because she's never been involved with area mental health.

[Chill1]

Thank you for your insight, but just after you answered, the police arrived at my house to say that they’d found my sister passed away in her house. I am shell shocked and can’t believe it right now. I don’t know how to feel or think. 

[fluffylight]

Hi @Chill1

I am so so sorry for your loss 💛

I can hear how much of a shock this is to you.

I am so glad you have reached out. We will walk with you every step of the way. You are not alone 💛


I just want to let you know that the SANE Support Centre is available to support you from 10am-8pm Monday to Friday. We have counsellors and peer support workers available to support you via phone (1800 18 7263) - I have also attached a link to our free services https://www.sane.org/get-support so please know you aren't alone.

There is also an organisation called Griefline - 1300 845 745 which offers free telephone support for people going through grief and loss.

I am sending so many hugs your way.

Please keep an eye out for your emails. We will send you a check in email 💛

Please take lots of care of yourself, you deserve it.

fluffylight x

[Melbcoffeesnob]

Hi @Chill1 

Sorry to hear the news and I am really sorry for your loss. I can understand this is a massive shock to you.

I have lost quite a few people in my life due to mental illness, so I understand what you are going through, please know you are not alone in this.

During my time of loss, I used Griefline quite a lot, from personal experience I found the counselors were amazing. You can reach them on 1300 845 745.

Please reach out when you feel ready to and continue to keep us updated. 

Take one day as it comes. 

We are here for you x 

[tyme]

Hi @Chill1 ,

I have been thinking about you and wanted to check-in with you to see how you are.

I recognise things are so difficult right now. Please know we are here to support you.

Griefline may also be helpful if you feel you need to speak to someone. 

You are not alone in this even if it may feel like you are.

Please reach out if you feel there's anything we can support you with.

Hugs, tyme