@Anastasia
If you have anything to contribute here, I would appreciate it.
I got an email from Rachel today. It was basically to say that she realises I may be under some financial stress at the moment if I have not found a housemate yet. I am paying some things back to her that was putting on her account. I am ahead with one thing and up to date with the other. The one I am up to date with is $40 remaining and the other I am ahead with does not need another payment till June this year.
She said she is going to pay the $40 and not to worry about it and the other I can just start paying again in June.
She closed it off by saying I wish you well on your healing.
Actually it is probably not really right that I ask for your feedback. You possibly would not know anymore than I do. I understand if you can't provide any.
I got in touch with an organisation here last week where I live. I have an appointment next week to go and talk about the trouble I am having with running the financial side of a business and what my goals are. (I want to buy a home) It is called money business. If they find I need more help they will refer me to their financial advisor.
This other step is I am going to see a therapist. Not the type of therapist who digs in deep into your layers and wants to take you back into your past though. I told them it is not what I want and it is mostly what is stopping me from going. I am still very hesitant about it though. I know I need help sorting through such complexities and difficult emotions, talking about things that have happened. I am definitely not me, I actually dont remember me, I cant think about me during the relationship, I ahve very little understanding or insight why I feel what I feel and I actually cannot figure any of it out. I have realised I cannot do it on my own because its just too far gone. One has been recommended to me by this organisation. I still have a very very long way to go. I guess it is a start. I will mkae inquiries once my head has been able to get around it properly. xx
