Terrified of people

[Former-Member]

How do you get well when u can't talk to people? I am terrified of people and live in my own little world.  I stay at home and only venture out to food shop once a week which makes me feel frightened.

I wish I could just disappear.

Unseen

[Academica]

Hi there @Former-Member,

I am sorry to hear you struggle talking with people and feel like disappearing. You are showing a lot of strength reaching out here in the forums and this can be a great place to communicate with others in a less frightening way. I have sent you an email checking in and with some additional supports in case you need them. 

We also wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums. We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve. Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already! We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

Take Care!

Academica

[Alonely]

Hello @Former-Member.

I also struggle with talking to people. I avoid interactions as much as possible, and can't do small talk. I don't really have friends and spend my free time at home alone. It is very hard, as I want connections, but I also cannot face the thought of interacting with people to make friends. It is very isolating. Hopefully talking in these forums helps. It is a great place to start.

[MJG017]

Welcome to the forum @Former-Member.

I know just how hard it is.  It took me until I was 40 to talk about how difficult it was for me to talk to people, even just to be around them.  It was in an online forum like this.  I found out I wasnt the only one and many other people struggled like I did.  It was a lot easier to talk to these people (well, type with them) as I didn't need to explain anything, they just understood.  Over time, I felt a bit more confident and it becane a little easier, even face to face.

Almost 15 years on I still struggle and find it very difficult in person, but I've gotten a lot better at it... not good, but better.

So I think you're off to a great start by posting here.  Its not easy reaching out and sharing like this, especially when its something you haven't really done before.  So just keep reaching out, communicating eith people in which ever form you find comfortable and things will start to become easier.  It probably wont happen quickly, and there may be days you feel luke you're going backward, but thats normal... just keep trying. There's quite a few people here who understand what its like as well, so you're definitely not alone.

[Former-Member]

Dear @Academica and @Alonely

Thank you both for your reply.  I received your email @Academica and I'm safe and sound.  Thank you for checking.

I guess I connected to SANE because I've had my safe little world turned upside down by a new, and very intrusive, neighbour.  Most of my neighbours accept I'm strange and leave me alone but not him.  I'm worried this man is stirring up trouble for me with the other neighbours.  

I live in my own little world and I don't understand why people can't just leave me alone as I do them.  My only friend was my dear old dad who died about ten years ago.  Although he had his own mental health problems he never judged me like my mum did.

My GP said I need help but I don't want therapy or medication as I'm not depressed just anxious. I don't know if I have a specific mental or neurological health disorder and I don't really want to know as it would involve talking to people.  Luckily I very rarely have to see her but I think my appearance alarms her somewhat as I guess I do look a little odd. 

Thanks for listening.

[Former-Member]

Hi @MJG017 

Thanks for replying.  I've been reading the SANE posts for a few years now but never felt the need to join until now.  I have noticed that many people have the same problem as I do. I'm glad you are getting better at talking to people as it's impossible not to 100% of the time.  I especially dislike dealing with tradesmen. They absolutely terrify me.

I was this way as a child and dad said I used to just go off into my imaginary world.  It was more my mum that was alarmed as I had no friends and didn't do very well academically, had to repeat third grade.  But dad introduced me to books so I'm always at the library which is a lovely safe place for people like me.

All the best

Unseen

[Dimity]

Hello @Former-Member @Alonely yes it's a difficult space to be in. I last spoke to someone a week ago.

@Former-Member I'm sorry to hear of your new and  difficult neighbour. Do you feel they are harassing you, or complaining to others about you? It's good you can find solace in books and the library. 

Sending warm wishes across the ether 

Dimity 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Dimity @MJG017 @Alonely

I'm hoping this man will get tired of it soon, he seems to have made lots of friends but he probably feels I snubbed him, hopefully the other neighbours will explain that I've always been this way as was my dad.

Sometimes I think I would like a friend to talk to but as @Alonely said "I want connections, but I also cannot face the thought of interacting with people to make friends".  I also can't do that chit-chatting thing either.  I guess since my dads death I've become rather reclusive.

My dad and I both had insomnia so we would sit out the back and watch the stars.  We picked one and made it our 'home away from home' and imagined it was like Earth but without people.  We imagined we lived in a beautiful sandstone cottage surrounded by a forest and in winter we would sit and talk, and read, in front of an open fireplace.  This planet had three moons that were much closer than our moon and we would just lie outside in summer and gaze at them.  I visit that place all the time, it's my safe place. Poor old dad, he had schizophrenia but it never bothered me as he was such a lovely kind man. I don't think my street really knew what to make of us.  I miss him terribly.

Hope you all have a peaceful week.

Unseen 🐈

[MJG017]

@Former-MemberYes, he probably thinks everybody wants to be his best mate so is trying really hard to make that happen.  I'm sure he will give up eventually... hopefully very soon.  I'm also sure he's the type that it ask the neighbours about you, so hopefully he's a bit more understanding then and leaves you alone.

I think I would have liked you dad.  He sounds a lot like me.  I used to spend a lot of time when I was younger, just lying down looking up at the stars for hours.  Even my family thought I was odd, just out there laying in the dark staring at the night sky.  It must be so difficult to not only lose a loving father but sounds like a best friend as well.

I hope your week is peaceful and 'nosey neighbour' free.

[Dimity]

Ten years is a long time @Former-Member . 

I noticed your dog emoji. Do you have a canine pal?