Terrified of people

[Former-Member]

Hi @MJG017 

Nothing like star gazing.  When it' warm I take a foam mattress and quilt and lay on my roof for a couple of hours. I find it very relaxing especially when I'm anxious.

Take care

Unseen

[Former-Member]

Hi @Dimity 

Oh, I thought that was a cat.  I used to have a dog and a cat but both are dead now.  I have a possum who walks on my roof every night.  I call him Ralph. Between Ralph and the rats that live in my wall cavities it's a wonder I get any sleep at all.

Yeah dad has been dead awhile but he was my only friend and I think about him every day.

Cheers

Unseen

[MJG017]

@Former-MemberThe roof was the best place for star gazing!  Nice to know I wasn't the only one.  I always wondered what neighbours thought I was doing up there in the dark.  I think it was a bit like the 'home away from home' you and your dad had.  I liked the quiet and the solitude when I was there staring up at the sky.  It felt like the only place that was for me and I didn't have to feel scared or bad or alone while there.

I really should get back to it.  Probably not on the roof these days, I'd probably injure myself getting up there... or getting rapidly down.  I don't even get my telescope out anymore and haven't for many years 😞

[Dimity]

I have possums too ans sometimes hear critters in the wall or ceiling @Former-Member . I'm not good with emojis as my sight is poor.

I lost my dad 12 years ago. I stayed with him for a while after my mother died but his last few years were in aged care. I've never really moved on. 

Have you considered another companion animal? I have a cat. I hear of dog owners  chatting at dog parks and dog play dates... if they're so inclined.

[Former-Member]

Hi @MJG017 

I have the perfect roof and it's easy to get up and down.  As most of my neighbours know I'm a bit strange it doesn't make me self conscious any more.

Just read your post to Bluebird11 (The dark hole) and it was such a kind supportive reply.  I hope Bluebird receives lots of support as we have all been in the dark hole or the dark place as I call it. 

As newbies it is difficult to know how to keep posts going but I told Bluebird that I notice people sort of use their post to vent especially late at night.  Bit like keeping a journal.

Take care 🙂 

Unseen

[Former-Member]

Hi @Dimity 

It is sad to loose love ones especially when you had such a special bond like I did with my dear old dad.  I was never really close to mum but I was sad when she died.  I think having two people with mental health issues was just too much for her.

I have decided not to get anymore pets due to the cost. However, Ralph the possum keeps me entertained as do the magpies.  I never see the rats, just hear them scuttling about. I guess we both we'll just have to put up with the noise.

Feeling better today now that the wind has subsided in NSW but believe it's picking up again tomorrow.  My house shakes with the force of it.  Hope everything is okay where you are.

Take care

Unseen  🦉

[MJG017]

Thanks @Former-Member, it's always reassuring to hear my posts are seen as supportive.  I'm still not sure if i'm saying the right thing sometimes so it always helps me a lot to get that kind feedback and encouragement.

I need a roof like yours I think.  We have a couple of places here not to far from the city that have been classified as 'dark sky' areas.  I keep thinking to go stay there some time and just look up at those big dark empty skies.  I remember once when I was little... it must have been about 45 years ago we drove to Queensland and we were going through country New South Wales and it had gotten dark.  I looked up at the sky and it was so dark you could see the milky way so clearly and the sky seemed full of stars.  I've never forgotten than and never seen skies that dark since.

I read your response to Bluebird as well and thought it was a really great post.  A few like that really makes people feel welcome and safe.  It does for me so I really hope it does for the original poster as well.  Hopefully it encourages them to keep interacting, even if it not here but somewhere else.

Some people do just like to vent and have a rant and there's nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes it's just what you need at the time.  Again, I just hope they stick around and start interacting with the people that reply, because I honestly think it would help them so much on top of getting the vent out of their head.  But I know it's hard, especially at the start, so I totally understand people need to do whatever they feel comfortable with.  A little bit of encouragement never hurts though.

Happy stargazing!

[Alonely]

@Former-Member @Dimity @MJG017 

I understand about your parent/s being your best friends.

My mum is my best friend and I talk with her daily. I also have a lot of interaction with my dad. They are the two friends I have in my little world. We spend time together in person when we can too.

My biggest fear for the future is losing one/both of them. I do not know how I will survive without them. I think I will end up in a severe depression. But for now, I make the most of every day when we are talking/texting/visiting with each other. 

I am sorry that you have lost your dad @Former-Member 💛

[Former-Member]

Hi @Alonely 

Lovely to hear (well read) from you again.  Hope you are having a peaceful week.

It's refreshing to know that others love(d) their parents.  So many on this forum never had that sort of love and security, which is so sad.  Not that having a loving relationship with mum and/or dad makes you free of mental health issues.  I'm far from it. 😉

Although you will grieve terribly @Alonely when it happens, especially with your mum, you will eventually remember all the wonderful times you had.  I sometimes think dad came up with that 'home away from home' imaginary planet so that I could always visit him there (see previous posts).

Perhaps start a journal of all the fun times you have so you'll always be able to remember, especially the small things.  I remember dad had this 'big plan' that we'd leave civilisation and go bush.  I reminded him we had a dog and a cat to look after so that put an end to that.  Hopefully all of this is far off into the future so try not to think about it or it will make you anxious and depressed.

I miss dad but I'm coping more or less on my own but sometimes it's soooo hard to deal with certain types of insensitive and intrusive people.  I just hide away in my little house.

Warmest regards

Unseen 🐥

[Alonely]

@Former-Member It is so nice to read of your relationship with your dad, and that you have a special place for just the two of you, even now when you miss him so much.

I completely understand hiding away in your house. I don't think the world is a welcoming place for some of us. I hide away in my corner of the office at work and then hurry home at the end of the day to the sanctuary of my private quiet space.