Moving forward (sexual abuse )

[Former-Member]

yep theres no graphic detail @Former-Member 

ok so when all this was happening, at one point i thought i was pregnant and it got me really worried and i cant seem to get it out of my mind of what i would have had to do, none of the options would have been easy esp since i was only 16.

it really scares me everyday and i dont know how to put it aside, it jsut really has me freaked out and jsut brings all those dirty feleings and weird feeling inside me back up

do you have any advice @Appleblossom@Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

[Former-Member]

I'm glad that it didnt happen to you @Former-Member soemtimes what the brain holds onto is strange. that did happen to me and it wasnt easy and no two people make the same hoices for the same reasons so its hard to really think about when you're weighing a hundred what if's to an event that didnt happen. i think its something htat you could talk about iwth your thereapist/counsellor maybe.
lj

[Former-Member]

im sorry that happened to you @Former-Member i hope your ok with that now....

i ahvent told my therapist about the abuse yet atm we are working on SH and SI

[Former-Member]

no, its not something that ive dealt with and have found it difficult to lay to rest i guess. There's a deep hurt when i see kids of that age around the place. losing him is not a hurt that is ever going to go awya or heal i think. 

this mightbe just me, but i wonder if its really possible to deal with everything seperately, as in, i know for me, the childhood stuff drives a lot of the current thinking, it affected my responses to what happened with my ex who was abusive, and everything combined led to my becoming very unwell and spending tie in hospital etc. it might be worth letting therapist know what is driving you to feel so awful/so much pain that you feel the si/sh urges? its all so interconnected.. not sure if that makes sense.. i am tired

lj

[Faith-and-Hope]

It makes perfect sense @Former-Member, and it was what I was about to say. Your therapist needs the big picture @Former-Member to be able to work out where the keys are to helping you overcome the sh and si which are symptomatic behaviours and thoughts .... the pain is referring from somewhere else into these channels.

💗

[Former-Member]

it does make sense @Former-Member 

my therapist knows about my social phobia, health anxiety, severe gad, severe depression and the other ptsd event and ive inted this and it was suttle enough i think to know what it was without actually saying it

[Former-Member]

even aside from the other events and conditions i have @Faith-and-Hope

ive hinted to her that its happening but i cant seem to bring myself to say it yet

[Faith-and-Hope]

It's your call @Former-Member .... but think about it ..... she is trying to solve a puzzle without having all the pieces.

💙🐠

[Former-Member]

i know @Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

im too scared to tell them

[Former-Member]

im not great at talkng either @Former-Member which is probably one of the reasons why its been hard for me to move on from it. i also dissociate a lot when it gets tough or i try to talk about it... which im trying to work on because i want to try emdr (a therapy for ptsd)... but cant while dissociating so much. 

I usually write stuff down for my psychologist. i email her before i see her with the things that i wish i could say. so she has apretty good idea of whats happening.