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[MermaidHair]

Hey there @al0ne, I'm so glad you're here, you are definitely not alone!

I feel you. Fear of rejection is actually so common, I have struggled with it my whole life and it can be crippling at times! Mindfulness is a great suggestion, I think you'd benefit a lot from that. Sometimes we can get stuck in negative thought loops and it can be really destructive and hold us back. Without even knowing you I can assure you that you are worthy and can make a great partner!

I hope you can find some treatment for your back pain and some supports to feel less lonely and sad. This forum will be a really good start, you are never alone here 🙏💜

[D1ng0]

Hey @al0ne, good morning. I hope you're doing okay this morning.

Just speaking from my experience here, as someone who lives with chronic pain, I would strongly advise you to access more professional support. I know how frustrating it can be when several professionals haven't helped so far, and you feel that seeing more professionals would just be a waste of time/energy, but you really do deserve more support than you're currently accessing, regardless of whether surgery eventually happens as well. (Multidisciplinary support will actually help you in surgery recovery, too.)

Pain physiotherapists are qualified and skilled in helping people in your exact situation; this is their bread and butter. This pain has been ongoing for years, it occurs in response to everyday actions, and it is clearly affecting your mental state in a big way... you have been so strong, dealing with that level of pain, and you deserve a professional who can give you more tools to cope.

My pain is the same in many ways (occurs daily, triggered by everyday movements, affects mental health) and I handled it alone for far too long. I am now working with professionals who care about me, care about my level of pain, and recognise that pain management requires a biopsychosocial approach. I have learned that pain is complex. That's why multidisciplinary professional support matters. Mindfulness is great, but it's only one tool, and managing chronic pain means wielding multiple tools.

We are here for you as you navigate healthcare systems! I know it can be frustrating. But there is hope, because you are not alone, and there are heaps of people in this country who have improved their lives by managing/reducing their pain. I'm on my chronic pain journey too, and also extremely isolated. So please don't think you're the only one feeling this way. We are here for you!