COME SHARE YOUR PASSION PROJECT

[tyme]

Hey @PeppyPatti ,

Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you took this step.

As I said before, I don't think it's about the money necessarily, but I feel 'getting paid' actually sets the scene and enforces boundaries - even if we don't think it does.

As soon as someone isn't getting paid, boundaries are blurred. 

In a way, it wasn't a 'good bye'. It was that you want to ensure she is getting what she rightly deserves - right? (And you are getting space).

In life, people always want 'free' stuff, but it's not always a blessing... right?

Do you feel okay with how this was managed? It may still be a little raw tonight, but hopefully after a period of time, you can reflect on it a bit more.

Hugs to you.

[PeppyPatti]

When i think of it @tyme 

I feel how hard  when your truly vulnerable. 

It's very annoying 

I used my therapist to tell her that

I don't want her around if she's not being paid 

That she's using me because she's lonely and ide rather see her where ide got more of a say in my life. 

I used my therapist 

Because in an email she said my carer has bad boundaries.

So my carer hates my therapist but to prove that she has good boundaries, she's not going to see me until she's paid.

• Why the ,,,,,, couldn't I just tell her that she's overwhelming me and I need space ? Instead of this damn dance where she hates my therapist and refuses to acknowledge she should have become less full on ? 

[tyme]

To be honest, sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy, I guess.

I used to always think that we always need to be honest. And it seems 'right' to do so. But I read this paper once which was written by doctors, and it really turned my thinking around. I started sharing what the paper said, but I've deleted it in case it is too triggering.

But the bottom line is, sometimes we shouldn't be completely honest if it is going to intentionally hurt people. So the main idea is, what is the purpose of being honest and what is the intention of not being honest?

It is the intention that matters. 

For example, I don't agree with dishonesty for self-gain. But if it is helps people including grieving families, then yes, I would reconsider.

NB: Please don't think I'm blatantly lying on the forums. I'm not. @PeppyPatti 

[PeppyPatti]

@tyme I just like reading this person called Terry Real.

I get what your saying about being honest.

@Glisten @avant-garde @Bunniekins @rav3n 

I used- possibly also today  to be seen as a person with borderline personality disorder. Because of my mother if someone said 

You are exactly like your mother 

You hate being alone 

My intention - every day was my defence -  not be anything like Mum. 

And I believe my therapist kept me away from my diagnosis because of .......lying ?

I think I would have collapsed. 

But today I am happy to have had/ have these personality stuff. 

My mother's intention was to destroy me because I was vulnerable. She told me verbally that she is better looking than me. At the time I didn't think much About that. That type of stuff doesn't interest me. 

My intention is 

 to give my sons love, support from afar and none of my " pathologies "

It always has been. I hope that they will reenter my life one day but I'm not present in their lives yet. 

This is your diagnosis. 

I would have fallen apart. But at 57 I can admit yes I can see this now. 

And I'm proud of myself. 

Today mum lives down the street still. It's exhausting sometimes. 

[Glisten]

@PeppyPatti  I only have mean words for your mother.

BIG SQUISHY HUGS 🫂 FOR YOU 

[tyme]

As someone with BPD, I have to say, What's wrong with having BPD?

Yes we can be seen as manipulative, but that's because we are highly passionate.

Yes, we can be seen as oversensitive, but that's because we are empathetic and we care.

Yes, we can be seen as impulsive, but who isn't at times?

Life's great with BPD. Adds the sugar and spice and all things nice to life 🙂 @PeppyPatti 

[PeppyPatti]

@tyme I deeply apologise - There is absolutely nothing wrong with having bpd but - at a very young age my mum who is was trying to pummel me down to the ground and destroy me

I rejected anything that was anything like Mum. Good, bad anything 

You @tyme  are aware and actually I forgot to write I knew about your diagnosis and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the diagnosis

Today I embrace I passionately love 

My understanding of others and I believe I can think out of the box 

Plus I enjoy --- never did in the past ----

People spontaneously saying to me it's like I'm talking to them with weird but different questions 

In the past is way too tough to be identifying anything like Mum. 

PS. @Glisten thanx iv been noticing your wild but quirky empathy. Horses rule. 

So do budgies ......

@rav3n @tyme @Glisten @Bunniekins @avant-garde 

[avant-garde]

I was diagnosed with BPD but also C-PTSD that eventually I no longer met the criteria of BPD.

I've been told that "it's a diagnosis they give you when they can't be bothered figuring out what's actually wrong with you"

I was also told that for my specific case, although I met the criteria, I didn't display the characteristics of BPD.

I still don't entirely understand BPD but I understand that myself and others have been seen to have it

@tyme @PeppyPatti 

@BPDSurvivor - can you help me understand?

[BPDSurvivor]

Oooo! Nice question @avant-garde 

I have both BPD and CPTSD. My fit the bill to the T. Ticked every box so that if it was a test, I would have scored 100+%!

 Actually, I can’t say I agree that BPD is the dx they give you if they don’t know. The fact is, you need to fit 5 of the 9 criteria - this is ANY five which means how one person presents with BPD can be very different to the next - a bit like autism - it’s a spectrum. 

for me, BPD ruled my life. I lived on the poles of life - the extreme highs and lows, the extreme black and white, the extreme compassion and intense rage. Life was an emotional roller coaster.

 Cut to the chase, I went through intensive therapy through a BPD specialist service in Victoria. The results were astounding. To this day, I feel like a new person - no joke. Although I still have the characteristics of BPD, they are not at the level that impedes my daily functioning.

i still have the regular struggles of life, but I manage in a much better way.

 honestly, I reckon having BPD has been amazing coz I’ve met the most awesome people and I’ve grown so do much from it.

i wouldn’t trade it for anything. I remember one clinician I had said, ‘BPD is one MH condition where you CAN be in control. You write your story and if you don’t like it, change it’

 This is because BPD recovery is not reliant on meds, but rather, recovery comes from psychotherapy. I’m not saying that meds don’t help, but they act as more a symptom-pacifier rather than what ‘fixes’ a borderline.

feel free to check out this site: https://www.spectrumbpd.com.au

This is where I got treatment years ago.

 They run psycho education sessions online if you want to attend. It’s to get more info about the bpd diagnosis.

[avant-garde]

@BPDSurvivor 

Upon completing the DBT short course (3 months instead of 6) I no longer met the criteria for BPD, that was 7 years ago