Evening @Former-Member
My post was deleted and I wasn't sure how to re-edit. Easier to just start again!
I can't remember what I said now. Firstly, no you have not upset me. I found your post quite comforting as I really did not consider CPTSD. But it very describes my position. I had chat to P and he understood. I was triggered by a dual mix. Memory of past, mixed with current events. Names, feelings, emotions-it was all the same. Almost like too much information and overwhelm at once. I had a rest temporarily this morning for maybe half an hour. My kids started bickering, and we're up early. I just couldn't cope with it. The lack of sleep was too much. Did a little supermarket shop, and walk in the in the sun. The day felt eerie despite it being nice and sunny. I walked in that out of body sense. Got home. Tried to focus uni. Wasn't working. So went back bed. I'm still quite tired. P made dinner. 🙂
My weekend mix was of my own doing. Yet without consciously thinking about it the 'band-aid' fixes perhaps work as pain concealment.
Ive an appointment tomorrow (Telehealth) with GP to update on antidepressant. I will ask for sleeping aid. Someone suggested anti-psychotic would also be beneficial. I have been holding off calling GP as I began to feel voiceless. I was disappointed in the psychiatrist. I've been trying to understand what it is that my mood state is. They say anxiety. I think that isn't clear enough. I've read a lot and know that people can be misdiagnosed for years.
P has sleeping aid he does not use. So I'll take one tonight to make sure I do sleep. They are quite mild. And hopefully tomorrow I can get up, and do my work.
I really hate when I start to feel the same old stuff of avoidance, not wanting to be around people, due to trust etc.
Lifeline asked what I do for myself. I have my art. But I don't commit time to it. I've left it off for a long time.
I was a bit alarmed when they asked if I felt suicidal. That I was and my children were safe.
I guess they have to.
Small things like showering each day when I can't be bothered is self help.
I hope you had a good day?
And do not worry, you did not upset me at all. 🙂❤️
