Seen and heard and valued

[Kyle1]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwfHmIWq4dW/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

[hanami]

Hi @Kyle1 

Love this!

How are you going?

Hanami

[Kyle1]

hi @hanami 

Well, I may have found a kind heart and new house for my children and I. But I'm still prone to lingering moods of despair and worry...

I am beginning to accept this side of me - which is in itself bittersweet: to be non judgemental with myself, but then to want to get beyond illness and not identify too much as that person...

How is this supposed to happen??

[hanami]

It's such a conflict isn't it @Kyle1 . Very bittersweet. For me, I've accepted that I have anxiety. Acceptance of it has helped a lot. I kind of move with it I guess. Like it's there, but it's part of me. It's made me who I am. I do have moments of pondering when I wish anxiety hadn't played such a big role in my life. Like from the time of my earliest memories. I get mad at my mum for 'fuelling' the anxious gene in me. It kinda started with her. But then I get mad at myself...tell myself to move on. I have no real answers for you. I think we have to work this out for ourselves. I'm sorry it's been so hard for you.

Hanami

[tyme]

Hi there @Kyle1 ,

Firstly, well done on being able to secure a place for you and your family. It must be a relief for you.

However, I read that you feel depressed and have a sense of worry. Has something happened for you to feel this way?

We are here for you.

[Kyle1]

hi @tyme 

Well, yeah. I was subject to DV again recently. At the hands of a 'friend' from church, no less.

Along with concussion (in an already tumorous brain) you could say im still ringing and reeling with trauma.

[tyme]

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened @Kyle1 . Do you have any supports in place? Have you ever spoken to someone from 1800RESPECT?

[Kyle1]

nah... I've learned a lot from my previous relationship on this kind of thing, and also that men are not given any real support in this area. So I've been sitting in my emotional stew, eroding if I must @tyme 

[tyme]

We are here if you need a chat @Kyle1 . You deserve to be heard and supported.

[Kyle1]

thank you @tyme 

I guess I'm searching for what it is I am supposed to do?

I've sat with diagnosed mental illness for a year now, and tried to get one foot in front of the next, albeit ever so slowly...

What am I missing?