It’s so lovely to hear from you 
I’m so deeply sorry to hear that for the most part, your Birthdays haven’t been acknowledged or celebrated by those around you
In my experience, being ostracised by members of our family can evoke so many powerful emotions and I felt my heart sink when you shared ‘you kind of get use to it.’
I could really relate to this part of your story, as this is something that I’ve said to myself on numerous occasions. During these times, I’ve always been amazed how this seemingly benign phrase has the power to conceal and covertly communicate some of the emotions that I wasn’t able to voice. For example, anger, hurt and a deep sense of despair and resignation that despite my wanting things to be different, my situation would remain unchanged.
Absolutely! Initiating a grievance process can be an enormous undertaking and I can really appreciate your position in relation to this. Perhaps similar to you, this is only something that I would initiate after careful consideration and if I believed that it was necessary to prevent harm to myself or another person.
It’s always lovely to hear from you and I look forward to seeing you around the forums
Take kind and gentle care of yourself,
ShiningStar
Hi @MDT
It was my pleasure - It’s so lovely to hear from you
In my experience our ability to identify some of the issues that create an unhealthy and toxic environment can be incredibly challenging, especially when some of these issues have become an inherent part of the organisational culture and they’re often dismissed and regarded as ‘normal.’
With this in mind, I think that you did an amazing job of being able to identify what was happening in your organisation and I’m so pleased that you were able to find employment elsewhere
In my experience, making the decision to resign from a position has always been something that I’ve wrestled with and as such, I would spend hours agonising over if I was making the ‘right’ decision. I also wrestled with the idea that maybe I was ‘overreacting’ and that perhaps some of the issues that had prompted my resignation weren’t ‘that bad’ after all.
However, the changes that I began to notice in my health and wellbeing confirmed a very different reality, as did some of my colleagues who (similar to the example that you shared about your friend) volunteered that they were experiencing identical and / or similar issues to my own and as such, they had also made the decision to resign.
Although I was upset to hear about their experiences, their responses and actions confirmed that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts or the way in which the organisational culture was impacting my health and wellbeing and I knew that I had made the only decision that I could - which was to resign 
I loved your phrase ‘it’s an experience in the end I suppose isn’t it’ and it really resonated with me.
For example, throughout my career I’ve always had a designated workspace that I’ve personalised in a way that has felt meaningful for me. Although I’ve always valued the opportunity to be able to create a comfortable space I never connected with what this meant for me beyond the obvious aesthetic qualities.
However, some years ago I accepted a position in an environment where each allied health discipline was allocated a central office. As such, the individual office spaces that I valued, were replaced with a long wooden bench which served as a communal desk and each member of staff was allocated a small section on the bench which changed on a daily basis!
Suddenly, I was able to connect with the fact that a designated workspace represented so much more to me than just a functional space. The more I reflected on what was happening for me, I realised that it fostered a sense of stability and it provided a safe space for me to be able to retreat from the chaos around me and take stock of what was happening during my day. As such, I had completely underestimated the correlation between this and my health and wellbeing.
Therefore, it wasn’t until I had experienced a different type of experience, that I began to understand another part of myself and in short, this experience provided me with a ‘road map’ that I could use to inform and guide my needs in relation to future employment
As I read towards the end of your post, I noticed that you shared ‘silly thing really’ and as such, I just ever so gently wondered what this meant for you?
Take care of yourself,
ShiningStar
Today we move onto our next topic Emotional Wellness
While this definition of emotional wellness is undeniably true, it’s incomplete.
Emotional Wellness refers to an awareness, understanding, and acceptance of your emotions, and your ability to manage effectively through challenges and change.
I think that emotional health is probably the dimension of wellness that we tend to perhaps use as the litmus test as to how well we are doing in all areas of our live
Becoming aware of what we’re feeling, understanding these emotions, and then accepting them are vital steps in developing emotional wellness and becoming emotionally healthy. Awareness, understanding, and acceptance are part of the process, but they aren’t the heart of emotional wellness. Think of cookies. Butter, sugar, flour, and other ingredients are crucial in creating a delectable treat, but they aren’t the treat by themselves.
If emotional wellness is more than awareness, understanding, and accepting, what is it then? Emotional wellness is
Living well despite problems, through all of the many ups and downs of life
Living fully and finding the good in each day
Experiencing the gamut of human emotions (emotional wellness does not mean feeling perpetually happy) while simultaneously separating yourself from them, knowing that you can have emotions but that you aren’t defined by them
Suggested ways we can improve our emotional health are interlinked with the other dimensions. These include:
Be aware of your emotions and reactions.Notice what in your life makes you sad, frustrated, or angry. Try to address or change those things.
Express your feelings in appropriate ways. Let people close to you know when something is bothering you. Keeping feelings of sadness or anger inside adds to stress. It can cause problems in your relationships and at work or school.
Learn more to lessen the fear of the unknown "Knowledge is power," If you have a problem, learn whatever you can about the issue or the health condition you're facing. The more you know, the less you will fear what might happen.
Think before you act. Emotions can be powerful. Give yourself time to think, and be calm before you say or do something you might regret.
Manage stress.Try to change situations causing you stress. Learn relaxation methods to cope with stress. These could include deep breathing, meditation, and exercise.
Strive for balance. Find a healthy balance between work and play and between activity and rest. Make time for things you enjoy. Focus on positive things in your life.
Take care of your physical health. Your physical health can affect your emotional health. Exercise regularly, eat healthy meals, and get enough sleep. Don’t abuse drugs or alcohol.
Connect with others. We are social creatures. We need positive connections with other people. Make a lunch date, join a group, and say hi to strangers.
Find purpose and meaning. Figure out what it is important to you in life, and focus on that. This could be your work, your family, volunteering, caregiving, or something else. Spend your time doing what feels meaningful to you.
Stay positive.Focus on the good things in your life. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, and forgive others. Spend time with healthy, positive people.
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