SANE Forums

[Leo17]

Hi,where do I start,over a year ago my partner was hit by a car while working,I found her on road, she was in a coma and in critical condition, now a year later as she's learning to walk and function, she has changed and not a day goes by were she doesn't tell at me or hate everyone in the world, problem is I'm struggling to and I'm.getting worse day by day and because her family deems she's to hard it's only me and because of her agreesive behaviour getting a care is hard and she blames everyone for letting her down and I can't reason with her ,I'm getting psychiatrist help and even that angers her ,I do my best to remember it's not her ,it's the accident and to not feel guilty that I got her the job,I honestly just feel like I have nothing anymore,she is in a court case ,cause drivers fault but that happens in a few years but that don't change who she is now and how much she is hurting, sorry just have noone to talk to 

[Ru-bee]

Welcome to the forums @Leo17 

Thank you for sharing this with the forums, I'm sure it's not an easy thing to talk about.

It sounds as though this event has been traumatic for both you and your partner, and has understandably been difficult for each of you to recover from. While I can understand your partner's anger after going through such a thing, I am concerned that it's being directed at you. Do you ever feel unsafe with your partner when they become aggressive? It is possible to both understand someone's anger, and to empathise with them, while also recognizing that their behaviour is not okay. For more information and specialised support on this 1800Respect is a fantastic resource

When you mention that you have been speaking with a psychiatrist, is that for yourself, or have you been trying to get support for your partner? Do either of you have any other supports, I hear that her family has stepped back due to her behaviour, but are there any friends, or other professional supports?

I'm glad you've been able to find this space to talk, and hope it can continue to be a safe and supportive place for you to share

[Leo17]

Thanks for reply, psychiatrist is for me and no she isn't violent, unfortunately she has no friends and her family have no contact anymore and her daughters don't offer her any support 

[Ru-bee]

That' a lot of weight placed on your shoulders to be the sole support @Leo17 

I'm glad that you are seeking that support for yourself and I sincerely hope that your partner is also able to accept some more support, but I know how it can be when someone's not able or not wanting to seek that support for themselves. In those cases it is really important to tend to our own needs and wellbeing as best we can. 

What kind of support do feel you most need from the forums? Is it just a place to be able to share what's going on and connect with others, or are you looking for some more specific support? 

[Leo17]

To just be able to connect and be able to express how I feel 

[Asgard]

Morning @Leo17 

Nice to meet you and I kinda relate to what you are going through.  My partner and I were involved in a quad bike accident which left him brain damaged and very angry.  So angry in fact that he blamed me for the accident, even though he was driving.  As @Ru-bee said you need to look after your self both mentally and physically, as if you are unwell yourself you are no good to any one.  I found that sharing my feelings and concerns with friends and outside welfare groups did me the world of good. 

At home it was nearly like a battle everyday, but I did respite care both for me and him seperately which went a long way in looking after the pair of us.  It is a very hard journey mate and I don't envy you, but try as much as possible to use the local resources that are available to you.  Your story reawakend a lot of feelings in me, so I do understand, all the very best....................Asgard