Seeing new psych tomorrow

[PeppiPatty]

Jeepers @BlueBay that is a lot for you to sholder....it feels like your writing is about your Mother in Law loving your own children. ....

Am I right or wrong?

Did we begin a post for you? I can't remember.....

Is life about little steps? I have many very sad memories about my Mum lately,,,,,, my support person said that Im going through a really hard time remembering the pain of all the bad times I blocked away when I was little, like goig to high school and just leaning the house with all the fights of my parents and them threatening to put me in an orphanage at nighttime. 

Dear @Angels333 

Im thinking about you, 

Will you mind if I get back to you a bit later? 

Thankyou for writing and want to answer you when in a good @Angels333 mind....   :0)

PP

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Angels333  how are you feeling? Are you asleep yet?

I want to be very honest with you because you Have a lot on your plate ..

It's good to be very honest in MI when there is so much not honest speech.

It's scary going to see Doctors and taking in what they say.

How can we talk of him ...your husband caring for you ?

When my children were small, i was never 'listened to,' and it caused me to feel Really crazy. Now I'm with mr second. husband..............Mr husband who suffers Chronic paranoid Schizophrenia and has gone through enough trials to let me shake in my shoes....

...... And he was told how to deal with me and he complies. I am very very taken cared of.

There has to be a way for your husband to care for you.

Can I ask you some questions?

Where is he getting care from for his terrible and sad medical issues?

What are his hobbies?

Can you make a deal of ; care for him one day next day is care for you?

We need to break this cycle of his and for you to get real care..... Im thinking ...... You are worth being cared for every day all day and night, honey. Speak soon , Ille have a think....... PP

[PeppiPatty]

DEar @Angels333

How are you this morning? Ive been thinking about your dillema and thinking thinking....

I may have some ideas.........

Firstly, Im thinking of @peace and @Shaz51 and @Appleblossommight also have some answers. They are my dear friends online. I can ask them but they both might be overwhelmed with their own daily life so .......might not have time to write. 

This is my ideas;                                      Suggestion

Loneliness                                             stay online with Sane forums 
Lack of social support                          gp and see your GP about getting Silver chain in for a lady to come by once a week/ fortnight.

Recent stressful life experiences           practice going for a walk around the block.....or ...having a cup of tea and making sure that you are not bothered for 5-10 minutes. 

Marital or relationship problems          try very hard not to speak of them to yourself or your partner but getting support in like Silver chain and not giving the problems oxygen until you have an appiontment with a free Psychologist  VIA your GP

Sorry Im in my own adversity in my life but I;m very interested how your daily life is working out. Does these suggestions help at all? 

Hope they help.Take care @Angels333 you are a lovely person who be oart of this community .....

[Angels333]

Thanks for caring @PeppiPatty.

I'm also concerned about how @BlueBay is going? I hope you are continuing to treat yourself right.

The dynamics between my husband and I are so complex. We met at such a young age and really grew up together. I have watched his health progressively deteriorate over the last 10 years. He had an infusion today of infliximab and he really needs myself and the kids to be considerate. I made him a yummy fruit smoothie straight after work ( I just got home at 1.30pm) I am so used to putting him first. But I have to say he really appreciates everything the kids and I do for him.

My problem is I've managed to hide significant self harm scars from him for over a year. Whilst he knows that I have had MI since before we met, he's very supportive. I haven't ever self harmed in this way before and I know he will be devastated. My biggest fear is that it will destroy our marriage if he finds out. Tha sad thing is I have been too successful in hiding it that it's now been quite some time that I have been dishonest.

Oh I feel terrible.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Angels333,how are you today , i have been thinking of you today

My @PeppiPatty, they are very good suggestions

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Angels333

How are you? Thank you for your message; to be honest, I understand very much what you are dealing with so I'lle just keep up the suggestions for you.

Also, maybe you can show them to your Mum or family member? 

You have een diagnosed with BPD is that right? 

This is very misunderstood diagnosis. Somewhere, I have sent a 'diagnosis,' of BPD which my PSychotheraist gave me. Can I send you a small section of it?

Do you understand this? It is BPD is'nt it?

I remember my MI slowly deteriorated in my 20 s

went downhill repidly in my early 30s........

plateu then again

when my son got better from a terrible illness and marrying my second husband went crazy down again.

Since I joined Sane Forums, I've been able to manage downhill  better. 

Dear @BlueBay this is for you too.........

@Billamba @Ellie  @neb

The principles that are derived from effective therapies are relevant for all clinicians caring for patients with BPD. Initial visits should include a discussion of the diagnosis, expression of concern that acknowledges the patient’s distress, and es- tablishment of goals for change that are short- term and feasible. Examples of such goals are taking steps to feel better (i.e., leaving a high- stress situation or taking a medication), calling for help before losing control, improving sleep or ex- ercise schedules, attending a self-help group (e.g., Alcoholics Anonymous), and reopening communi- cations with an alienated friend or family mem- ber. Clinical experience indicates that such basic initial interventions can be surprisingly helpful.

[Angels333]

Hi @PeppiPatty my psychiatrist says I have a lot of anxiety and depression. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's terrifying sometimes.

[GothMum]

Dear @Angels333, please share this with a trusted family member (or someone who both you and your partner trust). Please don't hide this from your partner; sure right now might not be ideal, that's why a trusted inner circle person now).  I speak from experience being the partner of a self harmer. When I saw evidence of the harm by accident it freaked me out to the extreme. It would have still been shocking to be told, but the hiding really spelled the beginning of the end. Not saying that is likely for any other couple, but the lack of trust that underlayed firstly the harming and then the hiding was the start of both of us becoming less and less trusting of the other, and keeping more and more secrets.

[Angels333]

Yes, I have some good friends, a few in particular, who do know. But I just can't tell anyone right now 😞

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @Angels333
Great that very very turned on @GothMum is here..... phew....
Can you tell your Gp?
Suggestion : write in a piece of paper to alert him