SANE Forums

[Libra]

@DisEase , hello 

I could relate to your story so much. My son (mid 30s) was also admitted to a mental health ward, after meth abuse. His behaviour had been erratic for some time. 

He stayed in hospital at one time for 9 weeks and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He was put on a community treatment order and he gets his medication every fortnight. That has been for some years now.

He doesn't live me, and I can understand how torn you are, but it is way too stressful for me. I see him most days and take him groceries and do his washing. Some days he is my beautiful boy again, other days he is extremely angry with me, it's a roller-coaster.  He still uses drugs...

Thanks for listening to my story, I wish you and your daughter all the best, don't forget to take care of yourself. 

Cheers @Libra. xo

[tyme]

Hi there @Libra , Thank you for sharing your experiences. I hope wish your and your son well in recovery. 

I can see you have set clear boundaries with him, yet you also continue to help him.

I hear how torn parents can feel in such a circumstance. 

I hope you find ways to look after yourself.

[tyme]

Hey @DisEase ,

I'm hearing you. I hear how hard it must be.

I have BPD. I know first hand what it is to have people around me doing things for me in love and care. Yet in the end, I needed space to find myself.

Does your daughter's behaviour case harm to you in any way?

As much as I cannot tell you what to do, for me, I needed time and space away from family. Not because they didn't care, but because I needed to stop having people around me to blame for my own actions. At 19, I moved out. I don't regret this because I needed to take responsibility for my behaviour. Whilst I had family around, I could turn and blame them for things that went 'wrong'.

I hear how hard it is to say to you own child that they cannot return to live with you. Things to consider:

- do you think you can be firm enough to set and keep clear boundaries with your child if they return home?

- are you being harmed in any way if they are living at home with you?

- do you have enough wellbeing supports to have your child at home with you?

- can supports be in place to help them live independently?

- What does your child want to do?

I wish you all the best. We support you in whatever you decide to do.

[DisEase]

Thank you for reaching out, 

I'm sorry for the delayed reply.

My daughter has been discharged.  She was in for 6 weeks.

We tried to have her here but it didn't work. She keeps using. She wrecks the house. She calls me names.

She's at my mother's now. 

My mother and I aren't on speaking terms. My mother is also relocating to Perth to assist my sister. Permanently. 

Nobody in my "family" seems to understand. I am blamed and therefore get no help. 

[Ru-bee]

Thanks for giving this update @DisEase.

It sounds like you really tried to make it work with having your daughter in your home, but that ultimately it wasn't possible. 

How are you feeling now that she is in your mother's care? Does this mean that she will be moving to Perth with your mother?

We're here for you