Help with boundry statagies

[Determined]

@Janiee

Checking in, hope all is well and Daughter has followed through with the Dr appointment. 

[Janiee]

The appointment is on the 28th, she has threatened to pull out a few times, but she hasn't.  Yesterday was actually a really pleasant day, had a lovely 10 minute phone call from her (instead of 2 hours of aggression). She sounded almost happy yesterday, even had a few fun snap chats. I told her yesterday we were going camping thurs till sunday and we might not have signal and she was good with that too. Then last night the last two texts were aggressive again. I didn't answer till this morning and then 1 angry phone call and i had to hang up as i was at work and was needed, when i rang back she hsd calmed diwn again. 

Its the same old crap, why can't I make her father help (he doesn't want to pay for Drs vidits etc, he wants her to go public and wait), she doesn't have her separation cert (won't let me ring and fix it), she hasn't got a place to stay (she is staying with friends but wants hervown place with no money to support herself), and the list gies on and on. 

She has finally letting me pay for help, so fingers crossed. She has been fixated on her father paying as he has paid for very little in the last 10 years. I understand that, but I just want her better. 

Also I was expecting something today as usually if I am excited or happy about something, she wil lose it jusy before hand so I am worried or stressed the whole time, her father used to do that too. 

Hope you are on an even keel at the moment @Determined, you've got so much going on 😊

[Determined]

Understand the conflict when happy or excited @Janiee, had that this past weekend when doing my motorcycle licence course.

Everything relativity even at the moment despite some small cracks showing.

Hoping she can at least make it to the appointment for you. That is a start at least. Then work on the follow through.

Thinking of you through all of this. 

[Janiee]

Thank you @Determined. Can I go to sleep and wake up when its all better? Lol. We will get there, I have to believe it...

[Determined]

@Janiee

When I consider where we (our family)  were this time last year and for all of last year, it can defeniatly get better. It is so hard to see  that in the middle of a crisis though.

Feeling for you and thinking of you and your family. 

[Janiee]

I can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel yet.....but its definitely a step in the right direction 😊😊.  

Thank you @Determined x

[Janiee]

Well just as we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, the self sabotage has begun. I'm so tired of the eggshells, of being close to tears all the time, the having my phone on silent because I hate the sound of it ringing or a notification, of snapping at people because I'm stressed, of defending myself about EVERYTHING, of the double standards she throws at me constantly, I'm just tired!

I don't understand how she can't see how hurtful and nasty and totally self centred she is being, when all I am trying to do is help. If it isn't about her, it just doesn't concern her at all. Everyone is mean to her or she thinks they are judging her, if you disagree with what she says she doesn't want anything to do with you. I am so tired of every single waking moment of my day and when I can't sleep at night, she consumes my thoughts and the things thats worries me seem to be nothing to her. The things that worries her is largely stuff that could be fixed, if only she would agree to one of the many solutions. 

I now don't know if she wants me to go to the psychiatrist tomorrow or not or if she will cancel altogether. 

  I think I must have been a mass murderer in a previous life to have had this much bad karma....

[Former-Member]

Oh  @Janiee it is so hard at times.

Double serving of icecream and a box of tissues on hand at the hot choc cafe if you need some company - all I can say is I am glad I did not know you in the previous life ...

[Janiee]

Lol @Former-Member I'm glad I don't remember me in a previous life. Ice cream sounds great too 😊.

You know tge thing that gets me is, I'm an anxious, stressed out, crying mess because of horrendous texts or phone calls and I think things are really bad, she will just call or text me like nothing is wrong again. I'm like, how in the world can you be like the whole world is falling apart and then an hour later you are talking normally and wondering why I'm still upset/angry. 

Well I'm going to the psychiatrist with her tomorrow, so its a 3 1/2 hr drive there, an hour in there, who knows how long afterwards and then 3 1/2 hrs home. Feeling quite tense about it again.

Sorry,  just needing to vent and get my thoughts straight.

[Former-Member]

Vent away @Janiee,  slmoat as though we need an emptional.hard hat at times ... what flavour icecream do you fancy?