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cloudcore
Senior Contributor

Living with Loneliness

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Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

 

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

 

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated.  This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

 

 

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

372 REPLIES 372

Re: Loneliness

@cloudcore thank you for creating this thread. I know it's something I've struggled with over the years, and yet it's not something I've discussed with many...it's hard to tell your friends or loved ones that you're lonely, kind of creates a record scratch moment where you'd need to divulge some of the issues that create the loneliness within relationships in the first place, if that makes sense.

Really looking forward to enaging with the community on this one Smiley Happy

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Loneliness

hey @cloudcore and @Rhye I did experience this pretty much after school where for about 6-7  years was by myself - and struggling through depression and schizophrenia, also I just stayed true to myself during this time, but had limited contact with parents and family friends, coming from such a high in school - well to no friends outside work or home and since this is a safe space, I feel like I can talk about my experience more, but everything is ok now, not perfect, but yeah.

 

I care not to talk about the feelings invovled, I think it won't help at this point. But its possible to get out of, is the silver lining here. I dont have things perfect still, but I am managing best as I can and hoping for more, though some days its hard - But thanks to Sane Forums that void can be filled a bit, not genuine human connection, but the next best thing i suppose.

Re: Loneliness

I agree, it can be really hard to talk about loneliness @Rhye. I think for me it can almost feel like admitting a weakness.

 

And thank you for sharing @Former-Member, completely okay to not go into how it feels. Losing a lot of social connection at once must have been really hard, especially when struggling with our mental health. Those 6-7 years sound really lonely. You mentioned that you were hoping for more, may I ask what it is you are hoping for? Smiley HappyHeart  

 

 

As my contribution to the discussion, I am estranged from my parents and extended family. My feelings of loneliness come from feeling like I have no unconditional support or parental guidance, or a safe place to run home to when things get tough. It also comes from the fact I sometimes struggle to connect with others who have parents who are present in their lives. My younger brother and I are eachother's main supports, but given we are both in our 20s we often feel lost, vulnerable and alone. 

 

Loneliness has a huge impact on my ability to cope with my depression and anxiety, and I experience loneliness most often in family oriented environments (my partner's family dinners, at graduations, etc) and during major holidays or celebrations like Easter, Christmas and birthdays. What I've done to cope with these events in the past was to take up work on those dates, and interact with colleagues who have taken up work for similar reasons. I've built some really meaningful friendships from those interactions and now we keep in touch during those tougher periods. I've also fostered a good relationship with my partner's mother which has filled that void a little bit too. Still tough managing the feelings of loneliness some days, but it's good to know I'm not completely alone. Heart

Re: Loneliness

This reallllly hit home for me. Hugs to you 💙

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Loneliness

@cloudcore 

 

My answer would be to find a partner, a good one. And to foucs on my MH cert. to add value to my life. It's nice to  have a brotherly bond I suppose @cloudcore, keep doing you

Re: Loneliness

What does loneliness look like for you?
Both when I'm alone and also when I am with people I feel disconnected from others, outside the loop, not in tune with everyone else's wavelength. Like I may as well not even be with these people because my presence is not felt. I also feel alone due to being single.

How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
Makes me squeamish and feel sick in a way. Depressed. I can't seem to find any peace when I feel it.


Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
New years eve. Birthdays. Valentines day.


What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?
Try to find resources on how to manage it. Stoic philosophy. Basically just eliminate social media from my life. Pit notifications on mute. Delete some dating apps. Block things or people on Facebook so I don't scroll through it and see something that depresses me further. Also, realising that it is possible to be good to myself even while onmy own.

Re: Loneliness

Well said @Former-Member

Re: Loneliness

@cloudcore thanks for sharing your experience.
I think you're on the money because I have supportive family but my friendship networks are weak. So I guess it goes to show that this thing called loneliness is experienced in so many ways

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Rhye
Take care my friend
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