My heart, mind and personal experience resonates strongly with this discussion. There is no one way fits all. It is complicated and variegated... it all depends ....on circumstances and individual traits. Myer Briggs personality types can be good to look at to get an understanding of oneself, but labelling or over doing typology has its issues.
@SJT63 I have been forced into self reliance from a young age, and am probably more that, than fiercely independent. Like you I am usually the supporter, the solver, the worker, the helper etc. A couple of times people have said I cannot receive or ask for help, but that is not true at all, as I have asked, diplomatically. politely and all that. Sometimes "the help" is not present or relevant. We are all a work in prgress.
Not sure I can add much, but think it is a huge issue that needs unpicking.
A long time ago I settled on the word "interdependence" as a middle ground between dependence and independence, but that needs elaboration too. We depend on tradies to keep our homes sorted, or we DIY. We need bankers ha ha ... to hold account details so the whole shebang sashays along for govt and business and the people. We are such highly interconnected societies with various levels and resources.
Being a teacher and a parent has shown me the importance of skill development, but emotional and social skills are huge areas. DBT has interesting insights, but so do other therapies.
Globalisation can be great for some families who can keep in touch across oceans by online means, but it also means many people are thrust together with little understanding of each others backgrounds and social norms or ways of being, and significant tensions can arise.
Spiritualities and various practices can help arouse Oceanic feelings, or help us feel empathy, but in my mind, empathy probably should be more that just a feeling. There could also be actions that show real empathy, rather than paying mere lip service or excessive virtue signalling.
So I end up with a giant question mark, in dealing with very pluralistic societies. It also comes down to the old . .. not what you know but who you know ...
Just saying Hallo
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