Thanks for replying @CheerBear.
After a lot of thinking I think it's at the centre of my problems but I don't understand it or have any idea how to handle it. I can't answer about the the reason that it's bad. The parts that I do know are a giant tangled mess that's not fit for untangling, and there's a lot of stuff I don't understand about why because there's no good enough reason.
Thanks for the links. I hadn't seen the "Ok/not ok" thing before. I don't know which quadrant I'd be in though.
Hi @Ali11. Thanks. Sort of.
"You are aware of neediness and being attached" - yes
"shaming yourself for experience feelings of liking" - yes
"and feeling like you care for someone" - a little, but it's more that I'm shaming myself for wanting them to like me and care about me too.
With certain people I want that too intensely which is shameful, but then the moment they appear to care a little I feel very guilty and disgusted in myself and a bit anxious about it.
Thanks @frog. I'm glad I could put something in a way to help you explore something about yourself (although sorry to hear that you relate to this confusion). Good luck in your exploration.
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