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  • Author : Ramble
  • support : 8
  • Topic : Looking after ourselves
2020-11-20T15:06:23+00:00
Senior Contributor

I feel like I want to/need to have a hiatus. Spend time away from society/world/people etc. I just feel like I've really lost myself entirely. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm so fatigued. I actually don't know what else to do but lock myself away. I'm also in a lot if pain. I'm tired of the OLD. Old ways of doing things, trying to have hope when I'm too tired to hold hope. I don't have answers anymore. Some days I can't breathe and I want to scream. 

 

I'm struggling to make things work when I'm not getting much help to make those things work. I'm tired if feeling like I have failed when I have done much good too. I'm tired of wanting to feel appreciated and seen. I'm tired if feeling empty and lifeless. I'm tired if living someone so profoundly deeply and wanting them so very much, but feeling resistance. I'm tired of trying to explain what's in my heart but they can't connect with it. It hurts. I just feel devastated. I don't know who I am anymore nor where I stand. I have to try remember this person is doing their best. What I'm concerned about is not knowing if and when things will get better and am I just being selfish in wanting to connect with that person on the level that I love them. Maybe they don't feel that way like I do? I just don't know. 

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