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  • Author : DOT2
  • support : 4
  • Topic : Something’s not right
Casual Contributor

@Smile82 Sorry for hijacking your post. 

I hope the replies are helpful in some way.  


Thank you for your reply. Hugs right back at you. You're obviously doing an amazing job caring for your son by the way you talk about him <3 


I also agree that all relationships have their issues and difficulties, regardless of mental illness. I find that lack of communication or ineffective communication (irritable, accusatory, blaming) to be the main issue for most. 

If this could be improved,  then most certainly, so can the relationship.

At this stage,  this is something my partner lacks. He blames,  accuses,  acts the victim with every stress in life. Brings up issues with agitation and blame. This behaviour is on/off and it affects not only myself,  but my children. 

My eldest child has anxiety, very low self esteem and has expressed suicidal thoughts (they see a psychologist, so is well managed) with the main reason being arguments (my partner won't leave me be if he is in an episode,  he just persists to blame me for his problems as he cannot control his emotions) and also their whole life being blamed everytime my partner gets stressed by parenting.

I put a stop to him blaming the kids and I have always stepped in,  but it unfortunately just shifts to him blaming me instead. I'll note that this issue has been addressed and has reduced, but still an issue on/off.

I can honestly say that if we never had kids,  I would have walked out the door 1 year into the relationship.

I'm torn between doing what is right for me,  my partner and most importantly the children. I know my partner loves me and the kids dearly and separating would be devastating for him, which is probably what's making me hesitate leaving. 

Separation creates a whole new set of issues, stresses and what ifs.  Pros and cons need to be weighed up.  


I am also seeing a Psychologist myself,  so will be trying to learn skills and strategies for managing things better before I make any decisions. It is a must for me, otherwise I implode and end up depressed.


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