Hi @BabyDragon, thank you for posting here. It sounds like a difficult situation you're in, and I feel for you
I can understand your partner's perspective that having a 'label' for your son could be stigmatising. The alternative of not getting a diagnosis, though, is that he might go throughout life not getting the additional support that he might need.
This really reminds me of how someone close to me has ADHD but never received a diagnosis as a child, as their parents didn't follow up with it (I think also related to concerns around stigma & labelling). This person then struggled throughout school, university, and life, and is finally looking into getting a diagnosis for themselves now. They were really hurt that their parents never organised the diagnosis that they needed when they were a child, and that hurt still impacts their relationship now. I'm mindful of the possibility of something similar happening with your son, especially if your gut instincts are saying a diagnosis is needed.
I wonder how open your partner is about talking about the stigma involved, and maybe challenging it a bit? Autism is a natural part of human neurodiversity, so I really wish there wasn't so much stigma. I wonder if it would help if your partner learned a bit more about people with autism- e.g. find out some well-known people who are on the spectrum?
Also, on the chance you're not aware, Aspect is an organisation which provides support to people with autism and their families around the country, and might be worth looking into
All the best from here. We're here for you too.
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